According to this AP article, more people in the U.S. are getting away with murder. Color me skeptical, but their numbers don't indicate that more individuals are killing others and not being caught. The raw data says that there are more unsolved murders. This doesn't truly say that more people are getting away with murder, because it's equally possible -- and equally likely --that we have the same number of killers, who are harvesting more victims.
Just an observation about the sloppiness of the article.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Traditions
Sunny's article from yesterday asked about Christmas traditions. At the end of the article, she asked "What are some of your traditions?" Well, it's easier to talk about my family's traditions in my own post, rather than comment on her page, which brings me to today's topic. (BTW, thanks for the idea, Sunny!) There aren't many must-do rituals around here -- even at Christmas -- but the traditions we do have, are steeped in our own personal history.
Our first Christmas tradition actually starts a month or two early, when the first person in the family sees the initial Christmas display in the stores, or when we hear a Christmas commercial on the radio, and we start grumbling that Christmas is coming earlier each year. (By the way, I noticed my first Christmas display a day or two before Halloween this year.) This is nothing against Christmas, but I really love Thanksgiving, which , thanks to our commercialism, is beginning to go the way of Arbor Day or Groundhog Day. I also believe that such a long lead-up to Christmas kind of burns people out on the whole thing.
In relation to this, I also grumble a bit at how many references there are to "The Holidays," instead of calling it what it really is -- Christmas. I tend to keep my eyes and ears open for companies that actually advertise for Christmas, instead of The Holidays, and they usually get my business first.
My first two rituals might make me sound a little humbug about Christmas. That's not the case. I am a little grumpy about the commercialism, but I've been that way since I was in my late teens. I am not, however, grumpy about Christmas in general. Now, on with the real traditions...
-Setting up the Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving. Once upon a time, I was a hard-core real tree purchaser, but pragmatics eventually turned me to fake trees. I like the fact that I can put up the fake tree the day after Thanksgiving without worrying about the tree drying out by Christmas. I still miss the pine scent of a real tree, but that's a small price to pay.
-After the tree is up, I pull out the ornaments, and hand them to Mrs. Evan and the kids, who place them on the tree. The kids' mom was (and still is, based on my understanding) incredibly anal about how the tree is decorated, so the kids don't get to help her decorate that tree. I prefer the eclectic look of our tree, which comes from letting the kids decorate as they see fit.
-The kids'argument discussion over who gets to put the star on top of the tree.
-Each year I purchase three new ornaments. One that represents the wife and me, and one for each of my girls. We occasionally purchase more than three, like the year I got my Harley, the wife and kids got me ornaments to commemorate the new addition to the family. We have also been known to buy unpainted ceramic ornaments and paint them ourselves. The point is that our decorations are personalized. We don't have any simple glass balls or anything like that on the tree. When the kids move out, I fully expect them to take at least some of their ornaments with them. The kids' ornaments are more for them than for me.
Mixed nuts. We (primarily me) go through five to ten pounds of nuts between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day. This year, we've got even more, because I collected fresh Black Walnuts and Hickory nuts. In conjunction with this tradition, the kids put the shells in the same bowl as the nuts, and I grumble about their laziness.
Packing up the family for a drive around town to look at Christmas lights. The trip usually consists of a thermos of hot chocolate, Christmas carols in the CD player, and the kids sporting pajamas in the back seat. We always drive around aimlessly, because the area of town with the best lights tends to move from year to year.
Christmas shows. My favorites, of course, are the slightly irreverent ones... A Year Without a Santa Claus (I love the Miser brothers) and A Christmas Story. (It says fra-gee-lay. Must be Italian.)
One tradition that actually goes back to my childhood is using candy canes as part of the tree's decorations. I had actually forgotten about that part this year. I didn't know exactly why, but the tree didn't look quite right, until Mrs. Evan brought home the candy canes... then it hit me.
Another tradition from my childhood is opening one gift on Christmas eve. I know how it started... my brothers and I nagged my parents about opening stuff early. My parents compromised and said that we could open one gift early. It became a tradition in my family. This tradition was passed on when my kids became old enough to nag me about opening stuff early. Only the kids open a gift early though.
This is a tradition brought to us by Mrs. Evan... each Christmas eve, we re-enact the birth of Christ, using ceramic figurines. It's a very irreverent re-enactment. For example, the Three Wise Men are called the three wise guys, and Joseph is always grumbling about how Mary cheated on him, and how it better have been with God, because if the kid looks like the plumber, he's outta there. It injects a bit of bawdy humor into the story, but it also serves as a reminder of the birth of Christ.
Pretending that I'm too tired to get up early to open gifts. This is my twisted, sadistic way of teasing the kids, because we don't open gifts until everyone is up. In the end, the kids usually jump in bed and wrestle with me until I relent.
Keeping the tree up until New Year's Day.
Our first Christmas tradition actually starts a month or two early, when the first person in the family sees the initial Christmas display in the stores, or when we hear a Christmas commercial on the radio, and we start grumbling that Christmas is coming earlier each year. (By the way, I noticed my first Christmas display a day or two before Halloween this year.) This is nothing against Christmas, but I really love Thanksgiving, which , thanks to our commercialism, is beginning to go the way of Arbor Day or Groundhog Day. I also believe that such a long lead-up to Christmas kind of burns people out on the whole thing.
In relation to this, I also grumble a bit at how many references there are to "The Holidays," instead of calling it what it really is -- Christmas. I tend to keep my eyes and ears open for companies that actually advertise for Christmas, instead of The Holidays, and they usually get my business first.
My first two rituals might make me sound a little humbug about Christmas. That's not the case. I am a little grumpy about the commercialism, but I've been that way since I was in my late teens. I am not, however, grumpy about Christmas in general. Now, on with the real traditions...
-Setting up the Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving. Once upon a time, I was a hard-core real tree purchaser, but pragmatics eventually turned me to fake trees. I like the fact that I can put up the fake tree the day after Thanksgiving without worrying about the tree drying out by Christmas. I still miss the pine scent of a real tree, but that's a small price to pay.
-After the tree is up, I pull out the ornaments, and hand them to Mrs. Evan and the kids, who place them on the tree. The kids' mom was (and still is, based on my understanding) incredibly anal about how the tree is decorated, so the kids don't get to help her decorate that tree. I prefer the eclectic look of our tree, which comes from letting the kids decorate as they see fit.
-The kids'
-Each year I purchase three new ornaments. One that represents the wife and me, and one for each of my girls. We occasionally purchase more than three, like the year I got my Harley, the wife and kids got me ornaments to commemorate the new addition to the family. We have also been known to buy unpainted ceramic ornaments and paint them ourselves. The point is that our decorations are personalized. We don't have any simple glass balls or anything like that on the tree. When the kids move out, I fully expect them to take at least some of their ornaments with them. The kids' ornaments are more for them than for me.
Mixed nuts. We (primarily me) go through five to ten pounds of nuts between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day. This year, we've got even more, because I collected fresh Black Walnuts and Hickory nuts. In conjunction with this tradition, the kids put the shells in the same bowl as the nuts, and I grumble about their laziness.
Packing up the family for a drive around town to look at Christmas lights. The trip usually consists of a thermos of hot chocolate, Christmas carols in the CD player, and the kids sporting pajamas in the back seat. We always drive around aimlessly, because the area of town with the best lights tends to move from year to year.
Christmas shows. My favorites, of course, are the slightly irreverent ones... A Year Without a Santa Claus (I love the Miser brothers) and A Christmas Story. (It says fra-gee-lay. Must be Italian.)
One tradition that actually goes back to my childhood is using candy canes as part of the tree's decorations. I had actually forgotten about that part this year. I didn't know exactly why, but the tree didn't look quite right, until Mrs. Evan brought home the candy canes... then it hit me.
Another tradition from my childhood is opening one gift on Christmas eve. I know how it started... my brothers and I nagged my parents about opening stuff early. My parents compromised and said that we could open one gift early. It became a tradition in my family. This tradition was passed on when my kids became old enough to nag me about opening stuff early. Only the kids open a gift early though.
This is a tradition brought to us by Mrs. Evan... each Christmas eve, we re-enact the birth of Christ, using ceramic figurines. It's a very irreverent re-enactment. For example, the Three Wise Men are called the three wise guys, and Joseph is always grumbling about how Mary cheated on him, and how it better have been with God, because if the kid looks like the plumber, he's outta there. It injects a bit of bawdy humor into the story, but it also serves as a reminder of the birth of Christ.
Pretending that I'm too tired to get up early to open gifts. This is my twisted, sadistic way of teasing the kids, because we don't open gifts until everyone is up. In the end, the kids usually jump in bed and wrestle with me until I relent.
Keeping the tree up until New Year's Day.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
It's Me. No, Really!
According to an article posted on Yahoo, Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, a Republican congresswoman from Florida, hung up on President-elect Barack Obama... not once, but twice.
She didn't really hang up on Obama per se, after all, Obama doesn't have to make his own phone calls anymore. But in each case, someone called her and informed her that the President-elect wanted to speak to her. She thought it was a radio station trying to punk her, and hung up both times.
On the third try, a democratic congressman called her and informed her that Obama was indeed trying to get through. Oops. She informed the President-elect that she thought she was being pranked, and Obama was apparently a good sport about the whole thing. Fortunately for her, Obama seems to have a good sense of humor.
She didn't really hang up on Obama per se, after all, Obama doesn't have to make his own phone calls anymore. But in each case, someone called her and informed her that the President-elect wanted to speak to her. She thought it was a radio station trying to punk her, and hung up both times.
On the third try, a democratic congressman called her and informed her that Obama was indeed trying to get through. Oops. She informed the President-elect that she thought she was being pranked, and Obama was apparently a good sport about the whole thing. Fortunately for her, Obama seems to have a good sense of humor.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Acceptable Loss
I was reading an internet article today about Bush's presidency, where he said that flawed Iraq intelligence was his biggest regret during his time in office. It's interesting that his biggest regret is something that he can technically pin on others. Silly me, I thought that a regret was personal. That certainly says a lot about our infamous leader. But I'm digressing.
The article also says that 4200 troops have died since we invaded Iraq in 2003. I'm going to take a shit-load of flack for this, but I'm going to call this acceptable loss. Hey, when we went to war five years ago, the overwhelming majority of Americans had swallowed the Kool-Aid that Bush's administration offered. We were somehow convinced that it would be a splendid little war, with a quick victory and little loss of life. We were half right... the loss of life has been quite low indeed.
As I write this, please let me once again reiterate that I was against going in to Iraq from the beginning... though it was primarily for strategic reasons. Opening a second front in a war has never worked historically... and going into Iraq was doing exactly that. My decision was correct, but I admit that I didn't arrive at that decision in the same manner as most objectors.
Anyway, back to my point. When it comes to the use of force, I am a pragmatist. Being a pacifist is great in theory, but in the real world it is an unrealistic view. And since the use of force is a distinct possibility, it stands to reason that there must be a loss of life. At some point, that loss becomes unacceptable, and we take our ball and go home. Up to that point though, the loss of life, while tragic, is a fact of life. That's called acceptable loss. To put this in perspective, the U.S. lost well over 6,000 men on D-Day. 58,000 Americans died during the Vietnam war. I'm not trying to minimize the loss of life in Iraq, I'm simply trying to explain that the loss of life is significantly lower. In fact, I'd say it's an acceptable loss.
The article also says that 4200 troops have died since we invaded Iraq in 2003. I'm going to take a shit-load of flack for this, but I'm going to call this acceptable loss. Hey, when we went to war five years ago, the overwhelming majority of Americans had swallowed the Kool-Aid that Bush's administration offered. We were somehow convinced that it would be a splendid little war, with a quick victory and little loss of life. We were half right... the loss of life has been quite low indeed.
As I write this, please let me once again reiterate that I was against going in to Iraq from the beginning... though it was primarily for strategic reasons. Opening a second front in a war has never worked historically... and going into Iraq was doing exactly that. My decision was correct, but I admit that I didn't arrive at that decision in the same manner as most objectors.
Anyway, back to my point. When it comes to the use of force, I am a pragmatist. Being a pacifist is great in theory, but in the real world it is an unrealistic view. And since the use of force is a distinct possibility, it stands to reason that there must be a loss of life. At some point, that loss becomes unacceptable, and we take our ball and go home. Up to that point though, the loss of life, while tragic, is a fact of life. That's called acceptable loss. To put this in perspective, the U.S. lost well over 6,000 men on D-Day. 58,000 Americans died during the Vietnam war. I'm not trying to minimize the loss of life in Iraq, I'm simply trying to explain that the loss of life is significantly lower. In fact, I'd say it's an acceptable loss.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Thankful For
My wife. My rock. My companion. She brings home the bacon, and I fry it up in a pan. And yet I still somehow manage to retain custody of my testicles.
My kids. Life would present fewer challenges if they weren't around, but who needs that.
My dogs. The only creatures on the planet who consistently listen to me, and they're always happy when I get home.
My boss. A small business owner, he seems to genuinely care about his employees and his customers.
A small, intimate group of friends. When I was younger, I had a large but shallow group of friends. This left me with little time to reflect, a crazy social calendar and the sense of never quite knowing who I could trust. I'm glad my circle of friends is smaller, but very tried and true.
Change. Going from my last job to this one was very stressful. I was scared about how we'd make ends meet. It took a little bit of adjustment on my part to become comfortable with my new role as house-husband and part-time worker. It required me to be the dependent instead of the provider. But having made that adjustment, I can certainly say that I am enjoying life more now than I think I ever have.
My kids. Life would present fewer challenges if they weren't around, but who needs that.
My dogs. The only creatures on the planet who consistently listen to me, and they're always happy when I get home.
My boss. A small business owner, he seems to genuinely care about his employees and his customers.
A small, intimate group of friends. When I was younger, I had a large but shallow group of friends. This left me with little time to reflect, a crazy social calendar and the sense of never quite knowing who I could trust. I'm glad my circle of friends is smaller, but very tried and true.
Change. Going from my last job to this one was very stressful. I was scared about how we'd make ends meet. It took a little bit of adjustment on my part to become comfortable with my new role as house-husband and part-time worker. It required me to be the dependent instead of the provider. But having made that adjustment, I can certainly say that I am enjoying life more now than I think I ever have.
Monday, November 24, 2008
My Best Friend is Moving
You heard me right, my best friend is moving. I've got mixed feelings about the whole thing. Before I get into the whole "mixed feelings" aspect of this move, I should give you a little history on our friendship. I've known him for almost thirty years. I met him in sixth grade, and we've been friends pretty much ever since. After high school, I joined the Marine Corps and moved away. By the time I was out of the Corps, he had completed college and moved to another part of the state... just as I was moving back to our hometown.
Since we lived only a couple of hours away from each other, we visited often... every couple of months or so, and circumstances brought me to the city where we both live now, which allows us to see each other all the time. Up until today, he lived either a long walk or short drive away. (Being slightly lazy, it was usually a short drive.) We've shared a lot of good times, and seen each other through many not-so-good times.
That pretty much brings us up to speed, so now I'll talk about the mixed feelings. He's not moving across the country... he's moving across town, so it's not like he's really moving away. He's relocating. It's still a short drive to his place, but I certainly can't walk there anymore. This may seem like a little thing, but in my gut it still feels like he's moving farther away.
The house he lived in until today was a little place, built in the 1930's. During the time he lived there, I helped him essentially gut the place and rebuild it in his image. We completely overhauled the basement, going to the point of jack-hammering out the concrete in the basement floor so we could install drainage tile. We've tiled floors, installed Pergo floors, and knocked out virtually every wall at one point or another. A lot of blood and sweat have been spilled in that old house. I'm sorry to see him sell it.
This sorrow isn't mine alone. He was emotionally attached to that house for very good reason. It's a little house, filled with a lot of love. But the fact is, now that he has two kids the family has outgrown the house. He had planned on adding on to the house, but his wife pushed him to move. That's caused a lot of family strife, and they're moving mainly for the sake of the family. I dislike the rationale (because he felt pushed to move) but I agree with the decision.
I'm happy that he found a place his family will like. The location is definitely better for the kids. Lots of back streets for the kids to learn to ride a bike and play. His wife is kind of hung up on keeping up with the Jones', and I think this will bring her a measure of happiness. But agreeing to move was a bitter pill for my friend to swallow. Fortunately, he's looking at the positive aspects of moving.
The move itself is causing me a little pain. I helped them pack the U-Haul yesterday, and my muscles are telling me that I worked harder than I've worked in a long time -- and I'm helping them unpack today. I'm not looking forward to my aching body tomorrow. Additionally, they have a lot more stuff than they realized, so my garage is acting as a temporary overflow. I just got the thing cleared out so that Mrs. Evan and I could get our cars in the garage, and now it's got more crap in it than I've ever had in there. With the weather turning cold outside, I miss getting into a warm car inside of the garage, but it's a minor inconvenience when compared to the help I'm giving my friend. Hopefully, it'll all be cleared out soon. Yeah, I know I'm helping him out, but I want my garage back.
Since we lived only a couple of hours away from each other, we visited often... every couple of months or so, and circumstances brought me to the city where we both live now, which allows us to see each other all the time. Up until today, he lived either a long walk or short drive away. (Being slightly lazy, it was usually a short drive.) We've shared a lot of good times, and seen each other through many not-so-good times.
That pretty much brings us up to speed, so now I'll talk about the mixed feelings. He's not moving across the country... he's moving across town, so it's not like he's really moving away. He's relocating. It's still a short drive to his place, but I certainly can't walk there anymore. This may seem like a little thing, but in my gut it still feels like he's moving farther away.
The house he lived in until today was a little place, built in the 1930's. During the time he lived there, I helped him essentially gut the place and rebuild it in his image. We completely overhauled the basement, going to the point of jack-hammering out the concrete in the basement floor so we could install drainage tile. We've tiled floors, installed Pergo floors, and knocked out virtually every wall at one point or another. A lot of blood and sweat have been spilled in that old house. I'm sorry to see him sell it.
This sorrow isn't mine alone. He was emotionally attached to that house for very good reason. It's a little house, filled with a lot of love. But the fact is, now that he has two kids the family has outgrown the house. He had planned on adding on to the house, but his wife pushed him to move. That's caused a lot of family strife, and they're moving mainly for the sake of the family. I dislike the rationale (because he felt pushed to move) but I agree with the decision.
I'm happy that he found a place his family will like. The location is definitely better for the kids. Lots of back streets for the kids to learn to ride a bike and play. His wife is kind of hung up on keeping up with the Jones', and I think this will bring her a measure of happiness. But agreeing to move was a bitter pill for my friend to swallow. Fortunately, he's looking at the positive aspects of moving.
The move itself is causing me a little pain. I helped them pack the U-Haul yesterday, and my muscles are telling me that I worked harder than I've worked in a long time -- and I'm helping them unpack today. I'm not looking forward to my aching body tomorrow. Additionally, they have a lot more stuff than they realized, so my garage is acting as a temporary overflow. I just got the thing cleared out so that Mrs. Evan and I could get our cars in the garage, and now it's got more crap in it than I've ever had in there. With the weather turning cold outside, I miss getting into a warm car inside of the garage, but it's a minor inconvenience when compared to the help I'm giving my friend. Hopefully, it'll all be cleared out soon. Yeah, I know I'm helping him out, but I want my garage back.
Friday, November 21, 2008
I Hate This Part of Parenting
Disciplining and punishing my kids is my least favorite part of being their dad. I understand that discipline is part of parenting, and I don't shirk this responsibility, but watching my kids suffer is bad enough. Creating that discomfort makes things even worse.
Today, my older daughter was grounded because of her grades. When she entered high school, I told her that I expected all of her grades to be a "C" or better. The session that ended today marks at least the third consecutive term where she's brought home at least one "D."
During this time, I've tried all kinds of shit to encourage better grades. I bribed her by offering a cash incentive for good grades, I took away her cell phone, iPod and computer privileges. I've tried yelling, nagging, offering positive support, and letting her do things her own way. I told her the next thing to go was her social life.
Today, as a result of yet another "D," she's now grounded. She's grounded for the entire next term (but there is a way out). She is required to study for a minimum of two hours, and during the study time there will be no phone privileges. The only exception to this being grounded will be if she wants to attend her church's youth group... and even then, she can only go to youth group if her studying is done.
The early out I mentioned earlier is as follows... if she has all C's or better, she will be conditionally ungrounded after a month. The condition is that she maintains the minimum grade. If any grade falls below a C, she is immediately re-grounded.
Like I said, I really hate meting out punishment, but I hope this gets her to understand how serious I am about the grades. Because if it doesn't, she won't remember what her friends look like by the time she's ungrounded.
Today, my older daughter was grounded because of her grades. When she entered high school, I told her that I expected all of her grades to be a "C" or better. The session that ended today marks at least the third consecutive term where she's brought home at least one "D."
During this time, I've tried all kinds of shit to encourage better grades. I bribed her by offering a cash incentive for good grades, I took away her cell phone, iPod and computer privileges. I've tried yelling, nagging, offering positive support, and letting her do things her own way. I told her the next thing to go was her social life.
Today, as a result of yet another "D," she's now grounded. She's grounded for the entire next term (but there is a way out). She is required to study for a minimum of two hours, and during the study time there will be no phone privileges. The only exception to this being grounded will be if she wants to attend her church's youth group... and even then, she can only go to youth group if her studying is done.
The early out I mentioned earlier is as follows... if she has all C's or better, she will be conditionally ungrounded after a month. The condition is that she maintains the minimum grade. If any grade falls below a C, she is immediately re-grounded.
Like I said, I really hate meting out punishment, but I hope this gets her to understand how serious I am about the grades. Because if it doesn't, she won't remember what her friends look like by the time she's ungrounded.
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