Tax Exemption for Churches?

I've been reading a lot of posts on Facebook that advocate removing tax exemption from churches, ostensibly because Christianity teaches that homosexuality is a sin.  After seriously pondering the idea for a while, I've decided that I respectfully disagree.

I'm going to start by reminding you all that I am a Christian.  I frequently make missteps in my walk with God, but I try to consistently follow Christ's teachings.  I also acknowledge that The Bible unequivocally calls homosexuality a sin, but quite frankly, this is a tenet of my religion with which I struggle.  I understand that homosexuality is a sin according to doctrine, but when I observe the behavior of the few gays I know, I don't see them as morally inferior.  In fact, my experience is that most LGBTs exhibit compassion and kindness far above what I witness in society at large.  I also stipulate that some in the Christian community do not agree with my acceptance of gays.  In the end, however, I believe that Christianity's spotty record on homosexuality doesn't warrant revoking their tax exempt status.

I personally donate to my church.  How much isn't really relevant, but I will say that I give generously.  I have seen my church use this money to directly impact my community, and know that my funds make a difference globally.  Each week, people come to my church in distress.  I'm not talking about parishioners, I'm referring to ordinary folks who are truly desperate and don't know where else to turn.  We have provided food.  We have donated clothing.  We have given shelter in the form of paying for hotel rooms.  We have sponsored a village in Africa, where we have paid to build a well and provided funds to start a pineapple farm.  We have built multiple homes in Guatemala.  We help the truly destitute.  Last week we provided a car to a random family whose car engine blew on the way home from a funeral.  We help young women who decide to keep their unexpected children.

My church is not without its moral failings.  There are those in my own congregation who unequivocally condemn homosexuality.  Others condemn abortion, and would undoubtedly treat the would-be mother as a murder.  I suspect that my entire church community commits at least one of the seven deadly sins from time to time.  My pastors have repeatedly said that they will resign if ever they are forced to officiate a gay marriage.  At the same time, these same pastors do not outright reject a person simply based on sexual orientation.  The congregation at large does not turn away a soul simply because of an abortion.

My overarching point is that we are not perfect, but we do a lot of good in our community, and in our world.  We act on Christ's teachings of love and compassion.  If my church were to lose its tax exempt status, we would be far less equipped to do this good, because a large portion of the money we channel to helping our community, our nation, and our world, would instead be sent to the government.  I would like to think that most churches -- nay, most religious organizations -- in our country are founded and act on similar principles.  With this in mind, I ask that those who want to revoke tax exemption for churches to reconsider their stance.

Back On (the) Track

Last week I started hitting the gym again.  It was the first time in three to four months that I've gone, and I've got to say I missed it.  The reason I stopped going was pretty simple... injuries.  I had back to back to back injuries.  This getting old stuff sucks!  In all honesty, I wasn't quite as faithful about my exercise routing as I could have been shortly before this health-induced hiatus, but I'm ready to get back into the swing of things.

Before this gap in exercise, I had hoped that I could get in good enough shape that I could pull off a First Class Marine Corps Physical Fitness Test in the 18 year old age bracket.  I never did achieve that goal.  In fact, I kind of doubt that I will ever make that goal... at least not with my simple three weekly gym visits.  I suspect I could achieve the milestone if I became a true gym rat, but I don't see that happening.  I will say this though... it's a bit sobering to see how much progress I've lost due to this time away from the gym.  I'm going to have to work my way back to a First Class PFT for my own age bracket, and it's going to be a long haul, because one of my injuries was a stress fracture to my foot, so I can't yet run three miles, much less make the distance within the time limit.

Oh well... baby steps.  Wish me success.

Praying for the Plaintiff

A couple of years ago, my daughter was involved in a car accident.  Yesterday, I was served papers naming me as a defendant in a lawsuit.  I'm not going to get into the specifics of the accident, because the lawsuit is still pending.  Here's what I am going to say though...

We live in an adversarial society.  We have greedy insurance companies who frequently don't want to pay a just amount to victims who have been genuinely wronged, and we have money-grubbing individuals who see minor inconveniences as an opportunity to make a quick buck.  I've never met the Plaintiff, so I honestly don't know the situation here.  With this in mind, I genuinely pray for this...

I ask that the Plaintiff gets what's deserved.  I pray that God, in His infinite wisdom, mete out justice.  If the Plaintiff is looking to win a jackpot, I ask for justice.  If the Plaintiff was genuinely injured, I seek a fair compensation for these injuries.  Again, I don't know the extent of any injuries, inconvenience, or pain and suffering that may or may not have been experienced.  I am simply asking that God give all involved the wisdom to make things genuinely right... nothing more, and nothing less.

Time Marches On...

Today is going to be another rambling post... I'm going to write without proof-reading...

Yesterday marks the one month anniversary since my best friend took his own life.  Time is marching on, and time seems a surreal way to mark the event.  It seems like yesterday that he did it, and it seems like an eternity since I've seen him.  Part of me feels like time should stop so that I can come to grips with things, but I know that's not possible, so another piece of me wishes that time would fast forward to the point where I've come to grips with what's happened.  But I also know that if time were to fast forward, I'd miss out on all kinds of good things that would happen along the way, so I mostly wish for time to stop while I process shit.

I know that my last several blog posts have focused on Greg's suicide.  I know it's depressing as shit.  I'm sorry for that.  For those of you who read my shit regularly... well, psyche... I don't write regularly any more, but you know what I mean... anyway, please know that I'm sad but not depressed.  I miss Greg, but I'm at least trying to enjoy life.  I think of him every day, but am to the point where I remember the good shit.

I've been going over to his house a lot... to make sure that his wife and kids are okay... and to feel close to him.  His wife and I share memories, and we tell a lot of jokes at his expense.  It's only fair... the fucker's not going to get the last word.  We both miss him terribly.

A Small Measure of Comfort

It's been a bit over three weeks since my best friend did the unthinkable and took his own life.  Kind of hard to believe... it seems like forever since I saw him last.  For the most part, I've moved past the crushing, debilitating, profound grief that I experienced for the first week or two, but I still miss him terribly.  I'm beginning to return to life and have good experiences, but when I wake up, when I'm alone, and when I go to sleep, my thoughts invariably return to him.  Generally speaking, I feel hollow... empty... more than sad, but less than depressed.  Last night, though, I learned that things could be worse.

You see, I had a dream about my friend last night.  In this dream, I was in a hospital, sitting across the table from my friend, who was completely catatonic.  There was no expression on his face, no life in his eyes.  I spoke to him, trying desperately to get through to the man I knew was in there somewhere, but I was having no success.  I heard the doctor say "He's dead.  His mind is completely gone, but his body doesn't know it yet."

That's when my brain reminded me that my friend is indeed dead, and awakened me from the dream.  When I returned to consciousness, I immediately realized that things could be worse.  Yes, my friend took his own life.  But at least he succeeded.  It would have been far worse if things had dragged on, with his mind gone, but his body present.  This is a cold comfort, but it is, nonetheless, some measure of peace.

Attention MCHS Class of 1986

In approximately six months, we will mark the 30th anniversary of our graduation from MCHS, which means the time for another class reunion is quickly approaching.  I, for one, am looking forward to it, but it wasn't always this way.  I'd like to take a couple of minutes to explain why I skipped the early reunions, why I changed my mind, and throw out some ideas for making our 30th reunion a success.

Most of you know that I joined the Marine Corps right out of high school.  In the winter of 1990-1991, I ran into someone from my graduating class and asked her if we would be having a 5 year reunion.  Her response was something like "Well, some of us got together and talked about it.  We all kind of realized that none of us have our lives together, and we came to the conclusion that nobody else did either, so we decided to not have a 5 year reunion."  I was instantly pissed, and replied "Well, that's pretty fucking arrogant, don't you think?"  When it was time for our ten year reunion, that quote stuck with me, and I boycotted the reunion.  In essence, I took the comment of one classmate, applied it to my entire graduating class, and decided that I wanted nothing to do with any of them, with the exception of the few I kept close after high school.

When it was time for our 20th reunion, I had matured a bit and thought it would be fun to find out how my classmates had fared over time.  Unfortunately, I missed it.  I think I had a last-minute work conflict.  Over the next year or two after that, I started getting in touch with my classmates through Facebook.  Oddly enough, most of them reached out to me.  I was pleasantly surprised to find out that most of them weren't the punk kids I knew as a teenager.  (I was also pleasantly surprised to find out that many of them were punk adults with attitudes quite similar to my own.)  I was happy to discover that most of us had grown up and moved past our petty high school selves.  I attended the 25th anniversary, had a great time, and connected with a few more classmates.

What I'm coming to, is that none of us are the same person we were in high school, and I suspect that a lot of our classmates didn't attend previous reunions because they erroneously assumed that it would be just like going back to MCHS.  If that's the case with you, I ask that you reconsider, and plan to attend our 30th reunion.  I'm not exactly sure when it will be, or what we'll do, but I can promise that, if it's anything like the 25th was, you will have fun.  You will see at least one person you didn't expect to see.  You'll experience at least one instance where you're surprised how much fun you had catching up with someone.  You'll be delighted to see how unlike high school it is.

To those organizing the event, (not sure who you are) I'd like to propose the following:

-Please don't hold the reunion over Memorial Day weekend, or the last week in July.  (Previous commitments would prevent me from attending.)

-Please send out as much notice as possible, so that our classmates can make vacation plans, travel plans, etc.

-I think another tour of the high school would be a blast!

-There is a bar in town owned by one of our own, and another bar in town owned by one of our relatives.  It would be really cool if we could hold an event at one of these places to show some love.

-If we do something upscale, please make sure to remind people that you need a head count, commitment and money well in advance.  Last time, the upscale plan fell through because people didn't commit and/or pay in a timely manner.

-Consider offering several alternatives and letting those who plan to attend help choose what we do.  This will help ensure maximum participation.

To those thinking about attending the event, I'd like to propose the following:
-Please speak up.  Let the organizers know if there's something specific you'd like to do, and/or if there's a specific time that's bad for you to attend.

-Please commit early and pay early if needed.  There were several people who said "I'm in," for one event last time, only to cancel at the last minute.  Some of these people stated money shortages.  We understand that life occurs, but with the advanced notice, people could have saved $0.50 per week and have been able to attend the big party.  Instead, organizers scrambled at the last second to come up with alternate activities.

To everyone:  We've reached the point in our lives where some of us are no longer around.  This is only going to get worse as we age.  Please don't let another reunion pass you by.  If you do so, you may miss your only chance to catch up with someone...

For My Best Friend

I should be working, but I can't concentrate.  I can't concentrate, partially because I couldn't sleep.  That tends to happen when you find out that you're never again going to see a loved one.  My best friend took his own life yesterday morning.  He took his own life, and all I can do is sit here and stare at the blank page... stare at the page because the words won't flow.  Well, that's not exactly correct.  Words are flowing, but they're not really coherent thoughts... they're pieces and fragments of notions, floating through the fog in my mind, just out of reach of my consciousness.  With this in mind, I hope you'll bear with me, because I'm going to write just to keep going.  I suspect this will be a bit directionless.

One thing I won't do is ask why.  I know why.  He's been very depressed for a very long time.  He battled with alcohol for years.  He was having problems with his marriage.  It all just became too much for him to bear.

One thing I won't do is blame myself.  I've known for years that this was a possibility, and I acted accordingly.  When he wanted to discuss his depression, I listened.  When he expressed hopelessness, I encouraged him to seek treatment (which he did) and told him that he was loved and needed.  When he wanted to focus on enjoying life, we lived.  I did the best I could with the information I had at the time.  In the end, the decision to check out was his, and his alone.  There was nothing I could to do stop him, and there was nothing anyone else could have done.

I will allow myself to be angry at him.  What he did was horrific and selfish.  He had no right to do this... to leave the utter devastation that his parents, brother, wife and two young girls are suffering.  He took the coward's way out.

I will allow myself to grieve for and forgive him.  I know that his brain wasn't working.  I know that he was suffering as much as any cancer patient or trauma victim.  In the end, it really doesn't matter how he died.  What matters is that I will never see my best friend again.

I will carry on through the grief and do my best to  help lighten the burden of those who love him as much as I do.  I do this partially because I share and understand their grief, partially because I believe that he would want me to help them, and partially to honor his memory.

I will carry on with life.  Life is for the living.  I cannot and will not fail to appreciate God's beauty.  I will try to remember that you must experience despair and grief in order to fully appreciate joy.

I will try to bring some sort of meaning to his death.  If you are suffering from depression, I beg you to seek help.  My friend came to the mistaken conclusion that the world would be better without his presence.  I promise you this is not the case.  The world right now matches my mood... cold, gray and rainy.  It's as if God himself cast a pall on the world to express His sadness at a soul's needless passing.  If you know someone suffering from depression, I ask that you urge that person to seek help.  It may or may not help, but at least you will know that you tried.  That knowledge may make all the difference if they follow the path of my friend.

I will pray that he finally knows the peace that sought all these years.  I will pray for his parents, brother, wife and girls, asking that He provide them with the strength to get through this.

I will eventually remember the good times.

I will miss my best friend.  That will never stop.

I'm now going to cry some more.