Pride Month

As you're likely aware, June is Pride Month, which according to AI is "...a global observance dedicated to celebrating the LGBTQ+ community..."  I'd like to speak about this for a moment...

When I was a child, it was illegal to be gay, and homosexuality was considered a mental disorder.  While the legal and medical standards changed rapidly in the 1970s, it was still generally considered taboo to to be gay.  I absolutely remember fag and fem being among the worst insults one could hurl at a young male.  Homosexuality could get you thrown out of the military, which was a bit ironic, considering how homoerotic that hyper-masculine environment really was.  And I must admit that I was intolerant of homosexuality in my younger days.  At one point in my early twenties I proudly announced that I was only intolerant of two things -- bigots and faggots.  And yes, I was aware of the irony.  At that stage in my life, I thought I was pretty clever.

My perspective changed when I worked with a guy named Brian Smith.  Brian was one of those guys who neither flaunted nor hid his homosexuality.  I figured he was probably gay, but we never talked about it.  I got to know him as a person and, quite simply, I found his presence enjoyable.  He was fun to be around.  I discovered his homosexuality by seeing a small pin-back button in a drawer at his desk that had a rainbow and said "Sorry girls, I'm gay."  This was not snooping, because I needed to open his drawer for legitimate work, but that's not relevant to the story.  What's important was that I had a passing mundane epiphany.  I could either continue with my gay hating ways, or I could accept his sexuality and move on.  I chose the latter.  Essentially, what had happened was a realization that I could continue living with my prejudice and suddenly start hating a guy based on the fact that he was gay, or I could continue to accept him for who he was, while realizing that part of that identity happened to be that he was gay.  I chose the latter.

This was not a watershed moment in my life.  The entire internal conversation may have taken five seconds.  There was no big change in my personality.  I didn't suddenly transform into a vocal ally.  What happened was that I realized one of my life assumptions was incorrect -- the assumption that homosexuals were somehow deviant, depraved, or inferior -- and I accepted that my old mentality was incorrect as matter-of-factly as if I had discovered that I had the wrong answer on a homework assignment.  I corrected things and moved on.

I'd love to say that moment caused me to accept the transgender community, but that's not what happened.  I still wasn't ready to accept that gender identity may not coincide with biological gender.  And I'll admit that, to this day, I can't quite relate to the gay or transgender identity... except for lesbians.  I totally get why lesbians dig chicks, because I do too.  But the thing is, I've learned to realize that I don't need to understand or relate.  I just need to accept.  I don't need a detailed understanding of the science behind gravity to realize that an apple falling from a tree will always hit the ground.

From my perspective, this is what Pride Month is about.  It's about trying to remind people that, while homosexuality is outside of the mainstream, it's not a deviant behavior that warrants scorn, contempt and hatred from the straight community.  Simply being transgender does not warrant hate and violence.  Sexual preference and gender identity are simply one of countless things that make us all unique, such as biological gender, race, national origin, faith, hair color, and so forth.

I look forward to the day where we can appreciate one another for our character, not our characteristics, but I'm not confident this will happen during my lifetime.  Until that happens though, please know that I will quietly work to advocate for this outcome.