Applying Marine Corps Leadership Traits to Everyday Life

Though it's been half a lifetime since I left the Marine Corps, I proudly carry the values and practice the discipline of the Corps to this very day.  In most respects, age and wisdom has allowed me to grow and reflect, making me a better Marine today than I was on active duty.  I'm certainly a better man, and a better leader than I was all of those years ago.  But looking back, it was the Marine Corps that instilled in me the the leadership traits that have helped me become the person I am today.  In my experience, it's difficult to be a good leader if any one of these traits are missing... even moreso if two are missing.  It's virtually impossible if three or more are missing.  Let's take a quick look at these traits and briefly discuss their importance:

Justice: Impartial adjudication of conflicting claims; Assignment of merited rewards or punishments
Without justice, subordinates will spend their time and energy currying favor or avoiding blame instead of focusing on the task at hand.

Judgement: The ability to reach intelligent conclusions
Without judgment, subordinates cannot be sure you providing the best course of action.

Dependability: Capable of being trusted
If your subordinates cannot depend on you, they will not take risks for you.

Integrity: Firm adherence to a code of moral values; Incorruptibility
If you do not exhibit integrity, those you lead will lose their own integrity.  In combat, in life and in business, a moral compass is critical.

Decisiveness: Having the power or quality of deciding; Unfaltering; Resolute
A decent plan now is better than the perfect plan next week.  An indecisive leader is worthless.

Tact: A keen sense of what to do or say in order to maintain good relations with others
Words are as important as weapons.  It is foolish to mock and alienate people.  You never know when you will run into them again, nor can you know whose assistance you will need in the future.

Initiative: The ability to act independently and without oversight
Initiative helps prevent problems that occur due to inaction.

Endurance: The ability to withstand hardship or adversity
You cannot expect those around you to persevere if you yourself give up at the first sign of difficulty.

Bearing: The manner in which one behaves
As a leader, your subordinates will behave as you do.  It's important to keep your cool and press on.

Unselfishness:  Not selfish; generous
Everything you do should consider the needs of those in your charge.  It is morally wrong to take the lion's share and leave only scraps for those under your care.

Courage:  Mental or moral strength to persevere and withstand danger or difficulty
Courage is more than the ability to face physical danger.  It's also the ability to step up and say that something is wrong, even when you know it's unpopular.  It's the ability to challenge your superior when you know they're incorrect.  It's the ability to have a difficult conversation with a trusted advisor or friend.

Knowledge: The range of one's information or understanding; becoming aware of truth through reasoning
Are you the subject matter expert in your job?  Do people trust your ability and talent?

Loyalty:  Faithfulness; Devotion; Commitment
Loyalty is holding to the principles you hold dear.  Do not confuse loyalty with blind allegiance.  In fact, it is more loyal to NOT look the other way.

Enthusiasm:  Strong Excitement of feeling; Passion
Enthusiasm encourages those around to excel.  Conversely, apathy and negativity discourages high performance.

If you wish to succeed as a leader, and in life, you must work diligently to cultivate all of these traits.  Accentuate those characteristics which come naturally, and endeavor to improve your weaker attributes.  History is littered with those who chose easier paths.

The End of the Promise

When my friend died a few years ago, I made a promise to myself, in his honor.  I promised that I'd be there for his widow and his girls.  I made this commitment with a few ideas in mind, but not knowing exactly how things would play out.  Even today, I'm not sure precisely what I expected, but do recall thinking I'd probably tell the kids stories about their dad... maybe teach them how to drive... help the family with little tasks around the house.  Regardless, I imagined myself... I don't know... involved.

As is often the case in life, things haven't exactly panned out how I pictured.  I started out visiting pretty frequently... every week or two.  Time passed and as the girls aged, they weren't interested in my visits.  Then his wife started getting busy as well.  My visits got less and less frequent.  Next thing I knew, I hadn't visited in over six months.

Soon after, I looked back, and realized that we had become Facebook friends, but even that was less frequent.  I'd check in to see how things were going, or to report such and such an event in my life, but didn't get responses.  I came to the conclusion that I was doing all of the work.  I reached out to them, but there really wasn't any reciprocation.

A month or two ago, I understood that it was time for the end of the promise.  I ran into them at our downtown Farmer's Market.  We caught eyes... there was a brief moment of unexpected surprise... a quick smile, and a hello.  During the exchange, my wife needed my attention for the briefest of moments.  I turned to answer her, and by the time I turned back, mere seconds later, they were gone.  It was obvious they weren't interested in hanging back for a conversation, however brief.

I'd like to be very clear about a few things... I hold no ill will toward the family.  Their lives have moved forward, and their new reality doesn't include me.  I'm completely okay with that.  I was never asked to make this promise... not by them, and not by him.  It was a commitment I made to myself during a period of intense grief.  I'd also like to clarify that I'm not writing them off.  If they need something from me in the future, I plan to be there.  What I'm doing is acknowledging their priorities have changed, and that it's time for me to stop trying to insert myself into their lives, while hoping they understand I'm still here if they need me.