I recently came to the realization that I hate Mothers Day. My distaste for the 'holiday' started when I was married to my first wife. She was quite self-centered, and always insisted on a big to-do. We went to big, expensive brunches (which we really couldn't afford at the time,) then she got upset when the young kids weren't mature enough to behave in a prim and proper manner for hours on end. Or she'd get cranky when the lines were too long, or when the restaurant was out of her favorite food - even temporarily.
It got worse after we divorced. Even if it was my weekend, she insisted on having the kids for 'her day.' But come Fathers Day, she'd want the kids for vacation. In all fairness, I've never cared a lot about Fathers Day. It's just the double standard I dislike.
Fast forward a few years, and my relationship with my mother has become, well, complicated. I find it difficult to celebrate the day when I don't even want to celebrate the relationship. I find it difficult to to call her, because she always wants to talk, usually complaining about her latest physical ailment. That previous sentence may sound a bit selfish, but let me put it in perspective. On multiple occasions, I have tried an experiment where I don't say a word after a quick greeting. I've frequently been able to go for over ten minutes at a time without saying a single word, and my mom doesn't notice. I can go even longer if I allow for non-committal responses such as uh-huh.
I'm remarried, but we celebrate step-mothers day a day earlier. We do this because the ex had a cow if my daughters recognized the wife on mothers day. This allows me to celebrate her contributions, without 'infringing' on Mothers Day. Over the years, it became our tradition.
My daughters both have kids of their own, and they're great moms. I'm okay with celebrating them, but I'd rather do it on virtually any other day. Fortunately, my kids commemorate the occasion with their families, and are content with me sending a quick text. They get that I'd prefer to give them love and attention for no reason, rather than do so because some greeting card company created a tradition in the name of capitalism.
