Mixed Feelings About Robin Williams

Like many of you, I was saddened to hear about Robin Williams committing suicide.  The world has lost a tremendous talent.  There are many people far more eloquent than I who expressed their sense of loss far better than I ever could, so I won't really try.  I will, however, say that the world is a slightly less funny place, and there is a piece of me that is personally saddened from his death.  That doesn't happen very often.

I realize that depression is a crushing state of mind.  I've had a taste of it, and it's no fun.  It takes every ounce of willpower to get out of bed and to eat.  You don't sleep until you physically can't stay awake any longer.  You can't concentrate.  You want to cry, but you can't.  You can't explain the depth of your despair and emptiness.  Those who have never been depressed can't understand it.  My brief, shallow dance with depression was from a divorce... an acute case.  I realize that I'll never fully experience the depression that a lot of folks live every day.  I'm thankful for this.  I have a great deal of sympathy for the chronically depressed.

At the same time though, I can't allow that to justify suicide.  I vividly, painfully recall how I felt when I was going through my divorce.  It's without a doubt the single most painful time of my life.  But I never considered suicide.  I just couldn't do it.  It would have been the ultimate act of selfishness.  Okay, committing suicide will end your pain, but those around you will have to live with the pain for the rest of their lives.  You may take away your own agony, but you transfer it to those who carry on in your absence.  Sorry, I just can't justify that, and I just can't excuse it.  This is why I have mixed feelings about Robin Williams' death.  Yes, the world lost a genius.  But he selfishly removed himself from the world.