A Personal Message to SCM

S,

I'm sorry you're hurting.  What he did to you was unacceptable, and there is no excuse.  You deserve better.  When it comes to relationships, I can't think of anything worse than infidelity.  The physical betrayal is bad enough... wondering why you aren't enough... thinking that you could or should have done something different or better.  The emotional betrayal is worse.  You loved and trusted, and he broke that trust.  You have every right to be furious.  Unfortunately for him, you're particularly spiteful when you are scorned.

For what it's worth, I think you're a good woman, and I'd like to remind you, in case nobody else has, that his actions are about him, not you.  This isn't your shortcoming or failure, it's his issue.  Try to keep this in mind.  I also want to mention that you have the power to forgive.  I know that you just cringed inside when you read those words. If you had a mouth full of coffee, you probably spit it all over your computer monitor, but hear me out.  I'm not going to say exactly what you expect me to say.

Yes, it's true that you can look past his deception and attempt to work things out.  I also know that doing so wouldn't be easy.  You and I have had more than one conversation during our long friendship where you've caught him telling you grave lies.  I know this is one more in a series of breaches of trust.  My point in saying that you have the power to forgive is to make sure that you know that walking away isn't your only option.

To be clear, I suspect that you've already thought about this and have made a conscious decision that you've had enough, and decided that ending things is the least objectionable option available.  Running with this assumption, please know that I support you.  Please know that I'm here...