It Gets Good Again

Today's post is for those who have recently lost a loved one to suicide.

Yesterday was a beautiful fall day that perfectly matched my mood.  The weather was warm and sunny, with a touch of a cool breeze.  The fall colors were in full display... red, gold and copper, with a touch of summer green still remaining.

I had a date day with my wonderful wife.  We started the afternoon with a great lunch at a local restaurant that had just opened.  The place has an upscale yet homey atmosphere, and we both thoroughly enjoyed our meals.  From there, we made our way north of town and spent an hour or so walking area nature trails.

I was well aware that yesterday was the three year anniversary of the day that my best friend committed suicide.  I noted how completely different it was from that horrible day.  On that day it was cold and gray, with a frigid, heavy rain that was just shy of snow.  It was almost impossible to know where the rain ended and my tears began, except that my tears were warm.  Helping my friend's widow tell her young girls that their dad had just taken his own life was a complete contrast to the peace I felt walking through the woods, and the contentment I experienced as I walked hand-in-hand with my wife.

Earlier in the day, I performed military honor guard duty at a local Boy Scout camp, rededicating their veterans fire ring.  My friend and I were both active in Boy Scouts, and I was cognizant of how our past intersected with the present, but again, I wasn't grief striken.  I missed his presence, but I honored his memory, and was grateful for the time we had together as I enjoyed the moment.

Let me be clear... there will always be a touch of sadness that my best friend took his own life.  There will always be a Greg-shaped scar on my soul.  But if you have recently lost a friend to suicide, it's important to know that it won't always be as bad as it is today.  I know you've heard 'it gets better.'  But that's not enough.  You need to understand that it gets good again.  I know this, because I'm living it.  Keep moving forward.  It gets good again.