Today's post is inspired by Sunny, who wrote a couple of posts about Christmas. Based on my readings, Sunny is one of those folks who looks forward to Christmas all year long and goes all out for the holiday. That's not how I operate.
When I was a kid, I remember getting a live tree every year, decorating the tree, and having a lot of Christmas cookies. My brothers and I spent a ton of time looking through the Sears catalog (remember those?!?!) and building a Christmas list. The tree was brimming with presents. We spent at least one evening driving around town looking at Christmas lights while drinking hot cocoa in the car, singing Christmas carols during the drive. On Christmas day, my dad, my brothers and I would go pheasant hunting while mom made dinner. (As an adult, I learned this was done to get us out of the house so mom could cook in peace.) As you can see, Christmas as a kid was all about receiving.
When I was in the military, I went home for Christmas a couple of times, but for the most part, Christmas wasn't a big deal. Immediately after I left the military, everything was flipped on its head. I was newly married and we'd just had our first daughter. Wife 1.0 was all about gifts and appearances. As a young father, I disliked going to the lot to find the right tree, because it was expensive, 1.0 was incredibly picky (wanting a Cadillac tree on a bicycle budget), and worst of all it was cold! It seemed to me like we spent every day from Black Friday to Christmas Eve buying stuff and setting stuff up, only to tear it down on New Year's Day. The kids wanted a ton of stuff but it was mostly untouched by end of January. 1.0 was horribly difficult to shop for, and she was never satisfied with what I bought. Add financial stress to the mix, and you can certainly understand that Christmas stressed me out. And did I mention the cold?!?
Things eased up a little bit when 1.0 and I parted ways. I no longer had to worry about meeting her standards. But I did have to start shopping for my two girls. That was also hit or miss. I didn't have to put up as many decorations, but what I did, I did solo. Dinner was also all... on... me. And did I mention the cold?!?
Things have gotten better since those days. Wife 2.2 (she's the second wife, hence 2.x, and she's got a new knee + new lenses in her eyes to fix cataracts, making her wife 2.2) made things a lot easier. She's much more low-key. She took over shopping for the girls, and quite frankly she's better at it than I am. She's content to spend one day putting up decorations, she's far easier to shop for, and we work together for Christmas dinner. Somewhere along the line, we got a good artificial tree. I miss the smell of a real tree, but it's so much faster and easier! The fake tree has lights built in, so it's up in about 10 minutes and fully decorated in less than an hour. The ornament collection is wildly eclectic, with each ornament telling a story. It's still cold outside, but over the years I've managed to acquire high-quality cold weather attire, so I don't mind as much.
As a young adult, I spent a lot of time and energy working to satisfy a woman who couldn't be satisfied, and trying to please fickle children. As the one who handled the budget, Christmas stressed the living Sh!+ out of me. The result was that I downright resented Christmas and only focused on the commercialism. When I remarried, I gained a partner who helped me carry the load. When the kids moved out, expectations dropped further, which allowed me to start seeing Christmas through fresh eyes. I fully embrace the fact that I'm a Christmas minimalist.
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