They'll Be Fine

I returned home late last night after an unscheduled visit to see my older daughter, and I guess it's time to tell the full story...

The tale starts a bit over a year ago, around Thanksgiving 2024.  My ex was having relationship issues.  Her boyfriend, or fiancee or whatever, was a recovering alcoholic who had fallen off the wagon, and she decided enough was enough.

After discussing options, my older daughter and her husband agreed to let the ex move in.  The plan was that the ex would buy an RV, and my son-in-law would build an RV pad in the back 40 of their property, complete with electricity and sewage.  I know I was skeptical this would work out as advertised, and I believe I shared this with my daughter, but I cannot say this with absolute certainty.

Fast-forward a year or so, and my ex was still living in the house, working a part-time job, and not really contributing to the household.  My daughter's family started calling her the troll, because she spent all of her time in her bedroom.  As you might imagine, this started causing a bit of tension around the house.

Before I continue the linear progression of the story, I should share that my ex did indeed purchase an RV, but it didn't run, and it was not weather tight.  I understand that she made it weather proof, but can't say for certain.  Son-in-law (SIL) was working 12/7, so he didn't really have the time to do the work required to get the ex (X) out of the house and into the RV.

What did happen is that SIL would come home after a 12-hour shift (plus the commute each way to the job site) to a mother-in-law who just sat around, rotting away.  One could imagine how this might cause stress in the household, and this is happening every day, for months on end.

SIL is a bit conflict avoidant and never found the testicular fortitude to tell X that something needed to change.  Eventually, his stress built up to the point where SIL mistreated X's dog, repeatedly.  To my understanding, the abuse was not severe, but it was certainly not healthy.  My grandson heard it and recorded the audio with his phone.  He then told X, who bought a nanny cam and caught the mistreatment on video.

In the video, SIL walked into X's room, saw dog laying on the bed, grabbed the dog by the collar, tossed it off the bed, and walked out.  It was unwarranted.  It was f*ck3d up.  It was traumatic for the dog.  It was also minor.  X and grandson kind of hyped things up in their minds and went to daughter with a united front.  Grandson said he didn't feel safe.  Daughter understandably freaked out.  SIL got kicked out, and Daughter fell apart.  So I went out and helped my little girl deal.

By the time I got there, a couple of days had passed, and so had the worst of the stress.  Daughter and her family realized things couldn't continue without change and they made appointments for counseling... family counseling, SIL counseling and grandson counseling.  X is moving out... and moving back in with alcoholic ex-boyfriend.

This, of course, is the short story.  Daughter, SIL and grandson are all committed to making things work.  I've made a point of telling them ALL that progress won't work in a predictable manner... that they need to expect progress to work in a non-linear fashion.  This is a $h!++y scene, and X is the bringer of the chaos.  (After she had a conversation with daughter, where X said that moving out is the best way forward, she called younger daughter and said that older daughter is kicking her out.)  But in the end, I'm firmly convinced they'll be fine.