Witless Protection Program

Some excerpts from a conversation that occurred yesterday between my older daughter and me...

"Dad?"

"Yeah kid?"

"Well, this going to be kind of awkward, but..." that opening put almost as much dread into me as we need to talk.

I was a little less anxious as I looked over at her and saw her nervously smiling as she continued "... I think I'm ready to make out with my boyfriend, but I don't know how to do it."

I was definitely caught off-guard with this one. My daughter just asked me how to make out with her boyfriend! I needed to make sure that I'd heard her correctly. "Okay. Let me make sure I heard this right... You're asking me to tell you how to kiss your boyfriend?"

"Yeah." No doubt about it. I'd heard it right. Believe it or not, there wasn't a single moment where I felt creeped out or overprotective that my little girl had asked this. In fact, I was a little giddy over the realization that she was comfortable enough to ask her dad (of all people) for this kind of advice.

At the end of our conversation, she told me "Dad, you can't blog about this," but I replied that I couldn't make that promise. In the end, we compromised by agreeing that I wouldn't replay the whole conversation, and I'd leave out the specifics. "I keep imagining that [boyfriend] is going to read your blog and that would be awkward. (She's been using that word a lot lately.)

I will say though, that I told her a lot about the mechanics of kissing. I told her that making out is slimy and that she'd have to just get used to that, and I told her that there's more to a good kiss than the lips... and in order to honor her request for non-disclosure, I won't reveal any more of the specifics.

Like I said, I was really flattered that she felt comfortable enough to come to me (of all people) for this advice. She's a teenager and really pushes my buttons sometimes, but yesterday was one of those "it's all worthwhile" moments.