Interviewing a Career Marine, Part I of III

Most of you who read my blog know that I’m a Marine Corps Veteran.  I proudly served six years, participating in Operation Earnest Will, and Desert Shield/Desert Storm.  Not too long ago, I was fortunate enough to get in touch with the man who was my Senior Drill Instructor when I was in boot camp.  Recently, he kindly agreed to be interviewed to discuss his career in the Marine Corps.  Like many of my other interviews, it’s relatively in-depth and lengthy, so I am going to break the full interview down into three parts.

When and how did you decide that you wanted to become a Marine?

I decided I wanted to be a Marine after I graduated from High School.  It was 1976, the bicentennial of our country and I felt a need to serve.  My father had been drafted in the Army and I was born on an Army base.

When and how did you decide to make the USMC your career?

At first I wanted to just complete my enlistment and go back to Seattle where I grew up, but things always turn out different than you plan.  I made it through screening to go on Embassy Duty and was married in Manila back in 1982, and there were no jobs in the civilian sector, so my choice was to stay in the Marines.

How did you meet your wife?

One of the local Philippine Embassy guards introduced us and we decided to meet to see a movie.   We really hit it off and you couldn't keep us apart after we met.

How long did you serve?

I served in the Marines for twenty three years.

I see that you retired as a Master Sergeant.  What made you retire as an E-8 as opposed to staying in and retiring as an E-9?

You are never automatically promoted, and I was very happy to achieve the rank of Master Sergeant, which was not easy.  Only three percent of the total enlisted force is promoted to E-8 and because I had been on two special duties (one as an Embassy Guard and the second as a Drill Instructor) I was selected for promotion.  In the Marine Corps you have to demonstrate leadership and compete against your peers to be promoted.

Why did you choose to stay in for 23 years, as opposed to retiring at 20 years or staying for 30?

Staying in the service for 30 years is not automatic; you have to be an E-9 to stay in longer than 28 years and getting promoted is difficult especially when the service is downsizing, which always happens after a war.  I was happy with my decision to retire at 23 years; longer time in service gives greater benefits.

What were your various jobs as a Marine?

I had many different jobs in the Marine Corps.  My first job was as a Logistics clerk at 11^th Marines Artillery Regiment. The duties of the Regimental Logistics clerk were typing official letters and standard operating procedures from the S-4 Officers, and also typing all of the forms to order Artillery Ordnance for training operations. I was lucky to serve with SgtMaj Crawford, who went on to become the Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps.  Most of my duties were typing and filing official correspondence; and back in those days that was not with a computer but the good old fashion typewriter.  I was only at 11^th Marines from July 7, 1978 to July 7, 1979 at Camp Pendleton Los Pulgas, which is right in the middle of the base.  I was promoted to Corporal meritoriously [t]here, mostly because SgtMaj Crawford found out I had been in a Drum and Bugle Corps when I was a civilian and during a three week training exercise in the desert at 29 Palms he handed me a bugle then told me to play reveille, morning colors, evening colors and taps. I must have done a good job because when the unit returned from the training exercise I was asked to play morning colors every Friday for a formal Regimental Colors ceremony.

I played trumpet and baritone in high school.  When I originally enlisted, I tried out for the Marine Corps band, on both instruments.  Each time, I failed the audition by one point.  After that, my recruiter wanted me to go open contract.  I said no, and chose Avionics.  In retrospect, I’m happy with that decision.  It laid the groundwork for where I am today.

SgtMaj Crawford told me he could arrange an audition for the band anytime, but I told him no thank you. I figured it is almost impossible to become famous and make a living as a trumpet player; my band teacher wanted me to try out of the Marine Corps band also.  Looking back I am happy I did not go into the band because they never had any personal time, because of many different requirements to perform at ceremonies, functions, retirements and special events. 

What was your assignment after leaving Camp Pendleton?

I went to Marine Security Guard duty after that and was in the last class before the Iranian students took over the Embassy in Iran.  My first country was Indonesia which is the world’s largest Muslim country and everyone there was a little nervous because of the events in Iran.  My second country was the Philippines. The Secretary of State Alexander Haig came to Manila, and Vice President Bush came for the inauguration of Marcos as president.

My next duty was at Marine Corps Air Station (Helicopter) Tustin, where I was assigned as the barracks manager for all of the enlisted barracks. I was assigned to the base S-4 office in March 1982, and at first worked at what was called the trouble desk where residents at the Base Housing would call if they needed maintenance (Plumber or Carpenter work). Next I was put in charge of all the barracks, which included being the responsible officer for an account over $100,000.00 for all of furniture.  I personally helped to replace this furniture in all of the different barracks around the base.  It was an unusual job because I had to order things like the Wind Socks on top of the Blimp Hangars.  I was promoted to Staff Sergeant at Tustin in 1983. 

I don’t think I ever mentioned this to you, but I was stationed at MCAS Tustin, from ’87 until ’92, with a couple of LONG deployments in between.  I LOVED that place.

I really loved that base also, one crazy fact when I was there I remember a 1stSgt from MAG-11 talking about Sgt Mckeel who was the only other Marine from 11^th Marines to go to Embassy School with me.  He became a hostage in Iran and was there for 444 days. I told that 1stSgt I bet his is telling stories about a scar on his chest which happened on leave before Embassy School and sure enough later that day he came to see me at the S-4 Office.  This happened in 1982; but a sad fact Mckeel was discharged from the Marines (Alcohol problem). He found a job managing an Apartment complex and was robbed at gunpoint; he fought back and was shot to death.

I then received orders to the Drill Field at MCRD San Diego where I was a Drill Instructor at India Company 3^rd Battalion for eight platoons, three as a Senior Drill Instructor.

Please share one or two of your most memorable stories as a Drill Instructor.

I think the one story that stands out in my mind [from] when I was a Drill Instructor was when I was a Junior Drill Instructor and it was February, when there was lots of rain at RFTD.  We were going to the machine-gun infiltration course, and the usually-dry stream bed was a full raging stream of water.  Since the recruits could get so much mud in their M16 rifle we had one brilliant Junior Drill Instructor who thought it would be a good idea to have his recruits wash the mud out of their rifles in this stream when they were fording it. This was not my platoon but another in the series. Well, as Murphy ’s Law would have it, two of the recruits from that platoon lost [their] grip [on] their weapon when trying to clean it in the fast moving water, and their weapons were lost. Since I was the most senior Junior Drill Instructor I was informed of this situation right away. Now I always take these things calmly because when you panic you only make mistakes.  After being told about the missing weapons I noticed that a Major from the Recruit Field Training Division headquarters was visiting the area, so I decided to wait before informing the Company Commander until this Major left the area. Once he had safely departed and was a long way away I went up to the Company Commander and informed him of the missing weapons.  He became extremely angry, because I am sure he thought his career was over right then and there. The next thing you know almost the whole company was up and down that stream about two hundred yards in each direction looking for those rifles.  It took about twenty minutes but those rifles were found under about four inches of sand right where they went into the stream. The Company Command went over to the Senior Drill Instructor who was in charge of that platoon and said in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear, “I want those two recruits punished every hour on the hour until they graduate.” Then he stormed off. That is one of the only times I ever saw the Company Commander completely lose control in front of the recruits.  You really can’t blame him because a lost weapon really would be the end of his career and probably the Drill Instructor’s career also.

Did the drill instructors follow through on the Commander’s order?

No they understood it was done in the heat of the moment.  This is also something that is addressed in the SOP, so they knew better. It really wasn’t a lawful order which is something else Marines have to be aware of at all times.

What are your thoughts of your time as a Drill Instructor?  About making Marines?

I do remember my tour of duty as a Drill Instructor well, and there were many ups and downs.  I have to say the school was the hardest thing I have done in my lifetime, as the school director was a Recon Major.  I saw many Drill Instructors get into trouble, and even one went to the Brig for taking money from recruits. I can remember my feet turning black from wearing the patent leather shoes on the Parade Deck and marching for hours.  We would all lose our voice and it would come back strong in a couple of days. Even as Drill Instructors we had to qualify on the range; I also remember being in an Inspector General’s inspection and they checked your service record to make sure you had the proper ribbons and badges. Sometimes we would have one week in between platoons and sometimes there wouldn’t even be two days. It was very hard and demanding duty but when you saw a platoon graduate and become Marines there was a lot of pride.  

How often did/do you hear from your recruits?

I only am in touch with about five of the Marines I trained.  A couple of them send updates to me on Facebook.  One of them sent me a long Thank you letter on the site Togetherweserved[.com], which was set up to help keep old military friends in touch and also make a historical record of your time in the service.

This is the end of Part I of the interview.  Click here for the second installment, which will discuss the latter part of his career.

Great Game, Lousy Streaming

Like millions of Americans, I watched the Super Bowl last night.  Unlike most Americans, I did not watch the game through broadcast or pay TV.  I streamed the game to my TV from my computer, because I cut the cord several years ago.

This is the third consecutive year that I've streamed the game.  It's also the worst year, from a quality standpoint, and I put the blame firmly on NBC.  The last two games I watched had great video and audio quality.  During yesterday's game, my video froze many times... too many to count.  The video quality also deteriorated significantly during the game.  I understand why this happened... NBC reduced the quality of the video to help prevent buffer problems, which is the root cause of screen freeze.  Poor quality was less offensive than having the screen freeze during a play, and then again at roughly the same point during the replay, but it shouldn't have happened at all.  NBC obviously underestimated their bandwidth needs.  I also wish that the networks would get their respective acts together and just broadcast the damned commercials.

Look folks, streaming video is no longer the wave of the future.  It's here.  It's now.  Content creators, content carriers and advertisers (in this case, the NFL and NBC and the various companies that aired commercials during the Super Bowl) need to stop thinking of streaming as an afterthought.  Those of us who stream our entertainment may not subscribe to cable or satellite TV, but we are consumers.  We do spend our hard-earned money.  By overlooking us, you are ignoring one of the fastest-growing market segments in the country.

Haikus

Last night I spent the evening bonding with my younger daughter. We did this by texting Haikus back and forth. It was part conversation, part poetry, all fun. With this in mind, I figured I'd post a few of my writings. Most of these Haikus came to mind during the night, after the Haiku text-a-thon with my daughter.

Lambs

Lotion on its skin

Or it gets the hose again

I don't want to die

Addict

Doobie cigarette

A fifth of Jim Beam whiskey

Time to overdose

Club

Two important rules

You don't talk about Fight Club

Don't talk about it

Floyd

Impenetrable

Bloodied fists pound at brick walls

The judge is an ass

Ozzy

John Michael Osbourne

Ozzy to the world at large

Metal Godfather

Grandson

Jameson Louis

Cutest boy in the whole world

Nothing like his dad

Daughter

She's a horse's ass

Doesn't know what respect means

Cute as a button

Religion

Puppies and rainbows

Are proof of God's love for us

Satan gave us sex

Poetry

Haikus are easy

A few syllables of thought

Nothing to it man

An Alternate Point of View

Today's blog entry is an exercise in creativity.  This is a story about my grandson's custody battle, written as if I were the boy's father.

It’s been over two months since I saw my son.  I miss him.  I love my son more than anything in the whole world, but they won’t let me see him.  To make matters worse, I have to pay child support for a kid they won’t even let me see.  That’s not fair.  I don’t even have a job.  How can they expect me to pay child support?  And I’ve got another kid on the way?  How am I supposed to provide for him?  What’s crazy is that my son and his baby momma live with her parents.  Between the three of them, they probably make six figures.  Why should I have to pay child support for a kid they won’t let me see?

It’s really DHS’s fault that I don’t get to see him.  There’s nothing more important to me than my son, but they make it impossible to see him.  They make me come to DHS to see him for supervised visits during the day.  Don’t they know that’s when I work?  And they said that I can’t have unsupervised visits until I take a psychological evaluation and a substance evaluation.  They said that I have to take piss tests.  They can’t make me do that!  There’s nothing wrong with me.  Okay, I had a bad reaction to K2 once, but that wasn’t an overdose.  That was more like an allergic reaction.  They act like I have a drug problem.  Screw that!  I’m not going to piss in a bottle.  Besides, how am I supposed to pay for these evaluations?  I don’t have a job.  How am I supposed to get there to piss in a bottle?  I don’t have a car.  And they make me call or text by noon to “confirm my visits.”  They say that I’ve missed too many visits in the past, so if I don’t confirm, they cancel my visit.

It’s really my son’s mom’s fault.  Her and her father.  It’s their fault that I lost my temper.  Her dad thinks he’s a tough Marine.  Well, I showed him.  It all started innocent enough.  I went over to spend some time with my son, and his mom came along.  We had fun.  We all went to the park.  His mom drove.  When we all got done, we drove back to her house.  I just wanted to take my son with me for a while, but his mom said no, because I didn’t have a car, and I didn’t have a place to stay.  It really upset me.  And then her dad came out, trying to tell me that I couldn’t take my son.  Who the fuck does he think he is?  Well, I showed him.  I brutally beat him.

You’d think that my son’s momma would have learned from seeing me beat her daddy, but she didn’t.  I had my son.  We were having fun, being a family again.  So I kept him overnight.  And we were having so much fun that I kept him overnight again.  I don’t understand what the big deal is.  You’d think that everyone would be happy that I got to spend time with my son.  But his mom got mad and started yelling at me.  She was screaming at me so loud that we got kicked out of the store.  I took my son and put him in the truck, but she stood in front of it.  I figured that I’d just push her with the truck, but she didn’t move.  If she would have moved, I wouldn’t have had to run over her.  And DHS never would have gotten involved.

A Happier Ending

Today's post is a follow up to yesterday, where I said there were two that got away.  As I did yesterday, I'm changing the name to protect her identity, but I still suspect that many of my high school friends will know who I'm talking about.

I met Jo my junior year in high school.  She was sweet and bubbly and cute, in that girl-next-door sort of way... alabaster skin, freckles and strawberry blond hair... and she always had a smile on her face.  For some reason, (to this day, I don't exactly know why) she was interested in me.  I, however, was having a lot of fun being single, so we didn't date in high school.  Scratch that.  There was a period of time where I was interested in her, but she was dating another guy.  We still didn't date, but I don't want to make it sound like I was never interested in her in school.

After high school, we stayed in touch, primarily through phone calls, and visits when I came home on leave.  I remember coming home one time and dropping by Jo's house.  She had some friends over.  Jo sent the friends on an errand so that she and I could talk.  Talking became kissing, and I was pretty sure that Jo and I would end up getting together.  Alas, it didn't happen.  The friends returned too quickly.  I guess she should have sent them on a longer errand.

The next time I came home on leave, I brought a friend with me.  I asked Jo to introduce him to a friend of hers.  That friend was Jamie, a mutual friend from high school.  Everything was going well.  Fred and Jamie seemed to be getting along, and I thought that Jo and I would finally end up getting together, after all of these years of innuendo and flirtation.  To this day, I'm not sure how it happened, but I ended up with Jamie, and my friend ended up with Jo.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed my time with Jamie, but that's not what I wanted.  It was one of those WTF moments I'll never forget.

Fast forward a couple of years... I was married, with a daughter, and I moved the family to my hometown.  By this time, Jo had gotten married as well.  Both of us knew that we had lost our chance to get together, but we remained friends, and we flirted  -- a lot -- in a shameless, but harmless manner.

A year or two after returning home, my wife and I had marital trouble.  I needed a friend, and Jo was there.  She confided in me that her marriage was on the rocks as well.  We bonded over our mutual distress, and we found solace in flirting more shamelessly than we had ever done.  We came very close to breaking our respective wedding vows that night, but in the end we did what was right.

We joked that we were experiencing the seven year itch a little early, and semi promised each other that if we ever did get the seven year itch, that we'd turn to each other, noting that we had too much history, and that we'd missed so many opportunities in the past that we kind of owed it to each other, and to ourselves, to turn to each other instead of some random stranger if we needed to scratch that itch.

Shortly after that, I ended up moving in an attempt to save my marriage.  Jo and her husband parted ways.  Not long after that, I had my second daughter.  Jo met another man and moved far away, but we kept in touch, talking every few months.  The conversations changed their tone... she talked about the challenges of being in love with a military man.  I talked about the ongoing problems in my marriage and the joy of fatherhood.  And the conversations always involved a lot of flirting, though slightly more tame than we used to do.  And there was more laughing... the laughter that mature, platonic friends share.

My first marriage lasted a little over a decade, by which time Jo had married her military man, and had a kid of her own.  I called her pretty frequently when my first marriage crumbled.  I was a shell of a man who needed any support he could find, and she was one (of many) who provided me that support.  I pointed out that I was available and she wasn't, and we laughed at that, remembering how horrible our timing had been over the years.  We spent a lot of time and energy trying to get together, but no matter what we did, something always got in the way.

Time healed the wound caused by my divorce, and I moved on, finding love again and marrying again.  Jo and I remained in touch.  She called me a lot when her husband was deployed.  I think she missed companionship in general.  We laughed a lot, she told me that she missed her husband, and we flirted.

After being married to my second wife though, I started feeling kind of bad about the flirting.  I knew in my heart that nothing would result from it; after all, Jo and I were (and are) both completely committed to our marriages.  But I worried that my wife would be hurt if she knew about my flirtation.  I told Jo about this, and we kind of drifted apart.  The only contact we had for a couple of years was through seeing each other's posts on Facebook.

Unlike my last story, this one has a happy ending.  Jo and I are starting to reconnect, but on a different level.  We are spending time talking about our families and life in general.  There's still a little bit of underlying flirtation, but like I said, we are committed to our respective families.  If we do start flirting though, I know it will be okay.  Over the years, my wife has seen me flirt with many, many women, and I've come to understand that she's truly okay with it.  She has said on more than one occasion that I'll "flirt with anything that moves," and let me know that it doesn't bother her.  It's also okay if Jo and I don't flirt.  I kind of miss it, but I've grown a bit as well.  The barely-contained passion I long held for her has evolved to a warm fondness... a fondness that I doubt would have survived if we had done anything more than shameless yet harmless flirting.

One That Got Away

Today's post came about because I ran across a stash of old letters and photos from storage.  I've changed her name to protect her identity, but I'm sure that some of my high school friends will know who I'm talking about.

Her name is Deborah.  I met her my sophomore year in high school.  How we met isn't really important to the story, but we quickly became friends.  We spent hours on the phone.  We hung out all the time.  Throughout high school, I always wanted more, but she was either oblivious to, or wanted to spare my feelings; and I never had the nerve to just come out and tell her.  It was something straight out of a movie.

After I graduated high school, I enlisted in the Marine Corps, and we kept in touch... the occasional phone call... the sporadic letter... a visit or two when I went home on leave.  I kept in touch because I still wanted more.  In 1990, I was deployed to the Persian Gulf for Desert Storm.  While I was there, we started writing each other quite regularly.  My feelings for her grew even stronger, and I had a hunch that she was beginning to feel the same way.

I still remember the first time she said "I love you."  I called her one night while I was on liberty during Desert Storm.  It was a dream come true, but so unexpected that I actually laughed and asked "What did you say," in an incredulous voice?  Instantly, I realized what I had done, and quickly explained that I had been waiting for years to hear her say those words.  I was giddy for days after that.

When I returned to the states, I went home on leave, not to see my family, but to see Deborah.  I'm sure I spent about half of my time with my family, but being with her was the only part I remember about that trip home.  For months, I was on cloud nine, calling her at least once per week.  I couldn't bear being separated from her, so I flew her out to see me.

Eventually though, things changed, like they always do.  The distance became a strain.  We started talking less often, and when we did talk, we frequently ended up arguing.  The disagreements were all pretty stupid, but invariably about the same thing -- politics.  She was majoring in political science, so it kind of makes sense.  To make this portion of the story shorter, she was sure that I was a right-wing nut job, and I was convinced that she was a tree-hugging liberal.  I was right because I had lived in the real world, while she was parroting her ivory-tower college professor's views.  She was right because my views came from an uneducated point of view.

For the last couple of months, we were together in name only.  We didn't speak.  We didn't write.  I went home for over Christmas, and knew that it had to end.  I called her, and we agreed to meet at a local bar...

"What do you want to do," she asked as we sat down over a pitcher of beer?

I want to end it.  I want out. I thought.  Instead, I meekly asked "I don't know, what do you want to do?"

"I want to call it off," she stated bluntly.

"Oh thank God," I responded, a little too quickly, with an audible sigh of relief in my voice.  I managed to bookend that relationship by putting my foot in my mouth.  We finished our pitcher of beer almost wordlessly and went our separate ways.  There wasn't much to say.

Less than a year later, I was married, had became a father, and was honorably discharged from the Marine Corps.  Deborah and I went through the motions of staying in touch. I called her every now and then.  She sent the occasional greeting card.  We did have a couple of serious conversations about where we went wrong.  We both acknowledged being a bit pig-headed in our younger days.  We both said that we'd come a bit closer to the center of the political spectrum over time.  For quite a while, I was afraid that I'd broken her heart, but she set me straight and said that in the end, she really didn't care that much; she just wanted it to be over.  I was glad that she wasn't bitter, but I'll admit that her statement was a bit of a blow to my ego.

I haven't heard from Deborah for years, but I think about her often.  She went on to get a law degree and become a judge.  I've reached out to her a couple of times.  We're friends on Facebook, but that's about it.  She rarely posts on Facebook and hasn't answered my private messages.  We don't have any mutual friends anymore.  That's okay though.  I have neither the need nor the desire to go back in time and try things over again.  After all, we've all got  that "one who got away."  (I've actually got two, but the second is a story for another day.)  The fact is, I am in love with my wife, and I would never consider straying from her.  A do-over would mean that I wouldn't have my wife and kids, and I couldn't imagine a life without them.  I do, however, deeply miss the friendship we had.  She is someone who truly interested me, and who seemed truly interested in me.

How I've Taken Back Christmas

When I was a young boy, like virtually everyone else I know, I loved Christmas. I couldn't wait to open all of my presents and eat the huge meal. I loved setting up the Christmas tree. The Christmas season meant snow, and if it was a particularly snowy year, it meant snow days. Everything about Christmas was magical.

Somewhere along the line, Christmas lost its magic. I think it started in my teen years, when I was too old for toys, so I got clothes for Christmas. Now please don't get me wrong, there's nothing inherently wrong with getting clothing for Christmas, but I've never been much of a fashionista, so I never got excited about getting clothes for Christmas.

By the time I was a young adult, I had reached the point where I really didn't like Christmas all that much. I hated the commercialism that caused Thanksgiving to virtually disappear. I hated the artificial cheer. I hated spending Christmas alone, and I hated traveling halfway across the country to spend Christmas with my family in the cold, cold Midwest. I was this way for a very, very long time.

Even when I moved back to the Midwest, and had children of my own, the Christmas spirit didn't return, because buying for children meant busting the budget. Christmas meant shoveling snow from my sidewalk and scraping frost and ice from my windows, it meant long lines at the store, and the stress of finding the right gift for my picky (first) wife who let me know in no uncertain terms when I missed the target.

I have spent many years raging against the commercialism of Christmas. I was a card carrying member of the "Put Christ back in Christmas" campaign. But no matter what I said or did, I didn't like Christmas. Over the years, that changed. Somewhere along the line, I realized that I didn't need to change society; I needed to change myself, and I did.

I guess the first thing I really did was make Christmas personal for my family and me. I started purchasing Christmas ornaments for my girls... Christmas ornaments that represented them specifically. When I got remarried, I extended this tradition to my wife. I think this is our favorite tradition. It certainly is mine.

I adjusted my attitude about Christmas gifts. I have learned to appreciate the effort placed into purchasing gifts that I have received, and I have started trying to find the right gift for the recipient. I also don't sweat the budget aspect as much. I still have a budget, but since I make a little more, the budget is larger, and I don't worry as much if I slightly exceed it.

I have come to realize that the "artificial" Christmas cheer isn't so fake after all. By and large, most people saying "Merry Christmas" and "Happy Holidays" really mean it. It would be nice if we could be this kind year round, but I'll take what I can get. In return, I have come to say "Merry Christmas" and genuinely mean it as well.

I have also remembered, and really internalized, that we are celebrating the birth of Jesus, which is significant to me. I do realize that Christ probably wasn't born on December 25. I realize that Christians morphed from a pagan holiday. That's okay. I also realize that Christmas is still a very secular event for the majority of the population. That too is okay.

You see, what killed Christmas for me was that I had been focusing on the trappings of the season, not the season itself. I had been focusing on what was wrong with the time of year, and was angry that society didn't bend to my will. What brought it back was the realization that I didn't need to change the world, I needed to change myself. Christmas was once again wonderful when I realized, nay remembered, that it's not about the gifts, it's about the relationships. That, my friends, is how I've taken back Christmas.