Hey Everyone, I've Got an Idea. Let's go Even Deeper into Debt

Congress agreed to let the government borrow another $781 billion Thursday, allowing lawmakers and President Bush to "pay" for the war in Iraq, combat terrorism and grant themselves yet another colossal raise, all without raising taxes or cutting popular domestic programs. I’ve got to admit, these guys are miracle workers!

The Senate, on a 52-48 vote, sent to President Bush a bill raising the ceiling on the national debt to nearly $9 trillion and preventing a first-ever default on U.S. Treasury notes. “The reason that the vote was so close was because it was an election year,” stated an anonymous Senate staffer. “If this had been a non-election year, it would have passed something like 99-1,” he continued. “But since it’s an election year, a few Senators are thinking, ‘Hmmmm, do I grant myself this colossal raise only to get voted out of office by my pissed off constituents, or do I play it safe and vote against it?’”

The House of Representatives, being a little smarter (in a cagy way, not intellectually), avoided an election-year vote on raising the debt limit by slipping the bill to the Senate when it passed a budget last year.

The bill passed the Senate just hours before the House was expected to approve another $91 billion to fund the war in Iraq and another $1.95 to split between education and heating subsidies for the poor. The partisan vote also came as the Senate continued debate on a $2.8 trillion budget blueprint for the upcoming fiscal year, beginning Oct. 1, that would produce a $359 billion deficit.

In twin setbacks for GOP leaders, the Senate voted 51-49 to add $3 billion to the budget in other ways sure to give our elected officials a very Merry Christmas. The moves broke through President Bush's overall "cap" on agency budgets to be funded later in the year through appropriations bills. Congress has now increased the debt ceiling four times by a total of $3 trillion since Bush took office five years ago.

The Senate vote came a day after Treasury Secretary Jack Snow warned lawmakers that action was "critical to provide certainty to financial markets that the integrity of the obligations of the United States will not be compromised." When Snow made these comments, Congress turned a deaf ear, so he followed up by saying “You won’t get your paychecks either.” That got their attention, and 24 hours later, the bill passed.

After the vote, Snow applauded Congress for "protecting the full faith and credit of my family," saying it ensures that the government "can deliver on promises already made, such as my paycheck, obscene retirement benefits and even a little for the soldiers in Iraq.”

The debt limit increase is an unhappy necessity — the alternative would be a disastrous first-ever default on U.S. obligations, or lawmakers would have to give up their sweet salary and benefits packages — that greatly overshadowed a mostly symbolic, weeklong debate on the GOP's budget resolution.

Democrats blasted the bill, saying it was needed because of fiscal mismanagement by Bush, who came to office when the government was running record surpluses. "When it comes to deficits, this president owns all the records," said Minority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev. "The three largest deficits in our nation's history have all occurred under this administration's watch."

Republicans responded by saying “I know you are, but what am I?” Senate Finance Committee Chairman Charles Grassley, R-Iowa, said Bush's tax cuts account for just 30 percent of the debt limit increases required during his presidency. Revenue losses from a recession and new spending to combat terrorism and for the war in Iraq are also responsible, he said, conveniently neglecting to discuss the Senate’s gargantuan annual income.

As for the $781 billion increase in the debt limit, Grassley said: "It is necessary to preserve the full faith and credit of the federal government, as well as my family farm."

Before approving the bill, Republicans rejected by a 55-44 vote an amendment by Max Baucus, D-Mont., to mandate a Treasury study on the economic consequences of foreigners holding an increasing portion of the U.S. debt. “Shut up, idiot!” an unnamed senator was overheard saying. “Those damn foreigners are the scotch tape that’s holding this house of cards together. At present, foreign countries, central banks and other institutions hold more than one-fourth of the debt, but that percentage is growing rapidly.

Following the debt limit vote Thursday, the Senate was expected to vote late in the day on the budget plan, a nonbinding measure proposing tax and spending guidelines for the next five years, and then order pizzas and beer for everyone.