Last Hurrah

I took the family camping last weekend, expecting that it will be our last camping trip until spring. My brother, nephew and parents showed up as well, to varying degrees. I really love camping, but I'm not so sure that I like camping with kids. My main reason for camping with the kids is because I thoroughly enjoy it (camping), and I hope to pass on my appreciation. In fact, it's one of the primary things that I'd like them to get from me.

In reality though, it's not so easy. Getting the kids up and running is like herding cats. (Heck, coordinating any of the kids' activities is like herding cats.) I've made a lot of concessions over the years in attempts to pass the camping bug to my kids... doing overnights instead of weekenders... using a pop-up trailer instead of a tent... fixing their favorite foods instead of my camping favorites... using state parks with modern restrooms and showers... Come to think of it, it's not really camping... it's more like sleeping in the back yard.

That's all beside the point though. Let's get back to the story, which turns out nothing like I had hoped or expected. I pictured the extended family sitting around the fire, singing Kumbaya, cooking steaks, roasting marshmallows and telling ghost stories. What happened was getting to the camp site so late that I set up camp, got firewood and cooked dinner, while the kids whined about being bored. My wife braved out a migraine while my mom chatted incessantly about nothing.

My dad and brother dropped the nephew with me so they could go back out on the boat and get in a little more fishing time. This gave my girls something to do, so I was able to focus on cooking steaks for dinner (the only part of the weekend that did turn out as I had hoped and expected, by the way). My brother and dad showed up just long enough to eat their steaks, drink a beer, thank me for the meal, and go home because they were tired. The wife, still suffering from a migraine, went to bed early.

The nephew burned up all of the cardboard I had planned on using to jump-start the morning fire, meaning that I had to scramble to get my daily caffeine fix the next day. With the nephew gone and a wife still suffering from a migraine, I was once again subjected to the girls' expectation for constant -- and I do mean constant -- entertainment. To put this in perspective, I had to use the restroom. When I arrived, there was a line for the stalls... it was painful, but I managed to keep control until my turn came. I had no sooner sat down and relaxed the muscles, than I heard one of my dogs bark and my children shouting from outside... "Daaaaaddd... are you done yet?" I hurried up and finished my business, so the other adults could handle their business in peace.

I tried valiantly to let the wife sleep in, but it's truly impossible to keep two dogs and two kids quiet under the best of circumstances. Doing so with bored, fighting kids and dogs in unfamiliar territory was out of the question. The Mrs. woke up, still suffering from a migraine, and took a long walk, finding bright sunlight and physical exertion less objectionable to her pounding head than my feeble attempts at maintaining silence.

After she returned, I started packing up the camper in preparation for a day on the boat. Despite the fact that my parents had the boat at their house -- about 15 minutes away from the campsite -- I finished packing, feeding the family and moving to the boat landing a full two hours before mom and dad showed up at the boat ramp. I had hoped to put in a full day on the water. Instead, we got about two hours... just long enough to run across the lake, pull the kids on the inner tube for a bit, and head back home.

At the end of the day, I really don't know what to think of the trip. I know my poor wife suffered. The kids certainly made me suffer. My parents irritated me. Did I mention that my wife suffered? But the steaks were delicious, the short amount of time on the lake really was fun, and no matter how much the kids made me suffer, we were together.

I'm beginning to re-evaluate my need to turn the kids into camping fanatics though.