How Many Days Until Retirement?

I took my annual Boys' Trip vacation last week.  "Boys' Trip" has become a euphemism though, because girls have been allowed for the last three to five years.  That in and of itself is kind of a funny story.  I've got two daughters.  By the time they were 10 or so, they started asking if they could go on our trips.  My friends said no, so I was out-voted.  Now, my friends have daughters interested in going, they finally see my point, and girls are allowed on the Boys' Trip.  But I'm digressing.

Those of you who know me, know that I believe in God.  Though I've gone to church for several years now, there is no time or place I feel closer to God than when I'm on these trips.  Yes, I feel close to God in general when I'm outdoors, but the Boys' Trips in particular tend to be very spiritual for me.  I am never closer to nature, and there is always a bit of alone time to ponder the miracle of creation.  It's calming and awe-inspiring at the same time.  I always return home appreciative of what God's provided... a loving family... a close circle of great friends... a roof over my head and food in my stomach....

This year, I realized that I'm no longer fulfilled by my job.  I'm a computer geek.  I know computers and networks, and to some extent, I enjoy computers and networks.  But I realized that it's no longer my passion.  If I could retire today, I'd stop working on computers and never look back.

When I came back from my trip, and I tried to talk to several people about my realization... my wife... my friends... one of my pastors... my kids.  But they were all wrapped in their own problems.  Their problem du jour seemed to overshadow my issue.  When I got back to work, I had to hit the ground running, and for the next couple of days, the crazy pace continued, as did my realization that, in the grand scheme of things, my job really doesn't matter.  I tried to share this with a couple of other friends, but once again, when I tried to share my thoughts, it quickly became obvious that they were more interested in talking than listening, so this revelation has remained unrevealed... until now.

That's right.  I am no longer fulfilled by my job.  I've said it.  It's out.  As soon as I can, I will retire from my current career, and start the next phase of my life.  What I'd like to do is become a permanent volunteer.  This way I could do what I want, when I want, for whichever cause I choose.  I could work in hospice for a month or two... then work for VA for a while... then work for the Humane Society for a bit.  The point is that I've reached a point in my life where doing menial stuff for worthwhile organizations is more rewarding than being well compensated to do tasks that really don't advance mankind as a whole.

I want to be clear about this... I'm not a malcontent.  I'm not crying in my millions (relatively speaking).  I'm not having a midlife crisis or existential issue.  I've merely reached the point where I can acknowledge my lack of fulfillment, and am realistic enough to know that it will be a while before I can actually do something (outside of the house) that's personally rewarding.  Either way though, it's kind of liberating to know this, and be able to say it.