Sunday, June 11, 2017

A Connundrum

Last week, I went on the trip of a lifetime.  Several of my friends and I took a week-long motorcycle trip around the state.  My original plan was to spend the next several days blogging about the trip and filling you in on the fun that we had.  Unfortunately, I need to digress and ask for some advice.

I have a friend who wanted to surprise me on the last leg of the journey.  He called me on the evening before we returned home, and we talked about the trip.  He decided to join us that evening and then ride home with us.  He's been a friend of the family for roughly 20 years.  After talking to me, he called my older daughter and asked to borrow her bike so that he could surprise me by showing up at the hotel on the last night.  Knowing that I'd be delighted at seeing him, my daughter lent him her bike.

Unfortunately, he got pulled over for speeding on the way to see me.  Once the cops pulled him over, they discovered that he was riding with a suspended license, among other infractions that won't be mentioned here.  My daughter's bike was impounded, and he was thrown into a county jail, roughly 125 miles from here.

After this occurred, our local police department knocked on my kid's door around midnight, waking her up and quite frankly scaring the crap out of her.  They asked if my friend had permission to ride her bike, but no other details were provided.  The next morning, she contacted me, trying to figure out what to do.  We were both understandably worried that my friend had been hurt or worse.  My daughter finally found out that he was busted, and that her bike was impounded.

My daughter and I both tried to reach out to him, but he has not responded.  I have called.  We both left voicemail messages.  I sent him text messages.  I sent him a PM via Facebook.  I know for a FACT that he's seen the Facebook message. My early messages said that I was worried.  My later messages said that I know he didn't intend to get busted, but he should call.

In order to get my daughter's bike out of impound, I had to zip home, cutting my trip a few hours short.  My daughter had to take unscheduled time off from work.  She had to pay over $300 to get her bike out of impound, and we had to travel four hours round trip to retrieve the bike.  An inconvenience, yes, but in the grand scheme of things, the inconvenience is minor compared to the fact that I KNOW my friend has seen at least one communication from us, and am confident that he's seen or heard all of them, yet he refuses to reach out to us.

Here's what I want to know from you:  What would you do if you were in my situation?  I get that he's probably embarrassed about the situation.  I understand that he may not have the financial resources to pay my kid back, especially considering that he's probably going to have to pay for an attorney to deal with these charges.  This isn't about the money.  This isn't about the fact that he worried us.  This isn't about the fact that he made a poor decision.  What matters is that I've reached out to him, I KNOW that he's received at least SOME of our communications, and he's not stepping up to talk to us.  From my perspective, it seems that he's prepared to trash a twenty year friendship over something stupid, because he's not responding.  How long should I wait before I say enough is enough and allow this longstanding relationship to end?

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