Some Parting Words to an Old Boss

Though I've alluded to this before, I haven't directly mentioned it until now. At my old job, one of the higher-ups was gunning for my dismissal. While I was there, I never knew exactly what I did wrong, and I never was told exactly who was pissed at me, though I had my suspicions. I still keep in touch with some of my former co-workers, and I recently found out who had it out for me... though I still don't know why.

The guy is someone who's pretty high in the food chain. In all honesty, after finding out his identity, I'm surprised that I lasted as long as I did, especially considering that in January he specifically asked for my dismissal. Fortunately for me, this guy wasn't politically in the good graces of the other higher-ups, and my direct supervisors put their own necks on the line and vouched for me. Though I know this guy has nothing but contempt for me, and I understand that I'll never work for any company at the same time as him, I am not going to say his name. It's not because I'm worried about burning any bridges -- he's long since burned them. Indeed, I'm choosing not to mention his name because I am a bigger man than him. Of course, I'm not much bigger, because I'm making this blog entry... an open letter to a former boss.

Dear Mr. Higher-up-on-the-food-chain-than-me,

I really don't know where to begin with this letter to you, so I hope you'll pardon me if things seem a little disjointed. I'm sure you'll appreciate the fact that your displeasure with my tenure at "your company" doesn't warrant enough time to edit this blog post for typos, grammatical errors or clarity. I'm not writing this for your benefit, it's for mine.

I don't know what I did that was so horrendous as to earn your wrath, but in the end it doesn't matter. What matters is that I busted my ass for the company. I gave my all as a technician, as an employee and as a man. For almost nine years -- long before you came into the picture -- I was a devoted employee. The company gave me a chance when I was a neophyte technician, and I strived daily to show my loyalty to the company, specifically for that reason.

The funny thing is, I distinctly remember when you were hired. I remember being charmed by your wit, impressed by your intellect, and respecting your ability to read people. When you came to the company, I had high regard for you as an individual and high hopes for what your ability could do for the company. When you came on board, I spoke highly of you.

As time went on, your true nature quickly came to light. People quickly realized that you were a wolf in sheep's clothing, and a snake who could not be trusted. You became demanding, demeaning and untrustworthy. It's no wonder that you were quickly discarded from the "inner circle" of the other managers. Even they saw how slimy you were. Despite all of this though, I continued to think the best of you; I refused to let the truth sink in, and I continued to defend you in the face of your detractors.

Eventually though, even I saw that you weren't what you appeared to be. I understood that you weren't what you portrayed yourself to be. Despite the fact that you began showing your true colors, I still refused to be one of the naysayers. I did this partially out of loyalty to you, partially because I still believed there may be some good in you, and partially because I played the corporate game... refusing to partake in the rumors, and refusing to join the crowd and bash on my boss.

And time ticked on... I still don't know what I did. I still don't know what I did that pissed you off to the point where you actively sought my dismissal. I did realize that any prospect of a rapport with you was gone, but I still refused to bad-mouth you. I did this not out of respect for you as a man -- all of that respect had died -- but out of respect for your position.

Eventually, all of my respect for you had disappeared. I had nothing left for you but contempt. Despite my utter disregard for you as a "man," (I'm using quotes, because I now realize that you're not a man. You're a coward.) I still refused to play the game. I never disparaged you, based on the understanding that what goes around comes around. I chose not to belittle you because I realized that doing so could damage my career. In retrospect, I understand that this is probably the only thing that saved me.

Though I never knew -- until now -- who my main obstacle was, I knew that you (you as an obstacle, not you as a person) existed. Now, with all of this behind me, I've got to say this...

Dude, I'm horribly disappointed in you. I'm disappointed in you as a supervisor, and I'm disappointed in you as a man. I'm disappointed in you because you weren't good enough as supervising me to state your reservations in my shortcomings -- whatever you may have perceived them to be -- and I'm disappointed in you as a man, because you weren't enough of a man to come to me, man to man, and tell me about the defects you saw in me. You could have come to me, whether as a supervisor, or as a man, and told me what you didn't like. Instead, you chose to hide behind your title and play behind the scenes, hoping to undermine my career. You could have looked me in the eye and bravely told me how things were, but instead you hid behind your title and tried to get me fired behind the scenes like the coward you truly are.

Part of me wants to hate you. But I'm no longer in the situation, and quite frankly, you're not worth the effort. Instead, you have my pity, you petty, despicable, cowardly little excuse of a man. I wish you no ill, but I certainly hope that you don't propser. Cowards like you don't deserve to succeed.