This Is Gonna Be Fun

Any time you hear "This is gonna be fun," you can be sure that it's not going to turn out exactly as expected. In fact, that phrase is reported to be one of the most uttered statements just before the ambulance is called, or immediately preceding a Darwin Awards submission. Last night it seems that I forgot how dangerous that phrase can be.

The wife and I had another quiet evening at home, and I decided to grill so I could try out the grill set that she had gotten me for Father's Day. I lit the grill - one of those natural gas grills - and sweetie-pie kicked back on the deck with me while the grill warmed up. After several minutes, I detected the unmistakable scent of natural gas, which indicated that the flame had gone out. I retrieved my lighter and set out to re-light the grill. Knowing that I would get a small fireball upon relighting it, I turned to my wonderful wife and said "This is gonna be fun."

I fired up the lighter, moved it to the grill and was promptly greeted by the largest fireball I've ever seen. The lid was blown off of the grill (and this is a cast iron lid) and I immediately smelled the reek of burning hair. My wife's voice was full of concern as she said "[Evan] are you okay?" and quickly following up with "Your hair is smoking."

Fortunately I was completely uninjured, but as I ran my hand through my locks, huge clumps of hair remained in my hand. When I went inside to look in the mirror, I knew that there was only one thing I could do... buzz it all off. My hair was singed to about 1/4 inch. My eyebrows remained unsinged, but my eyelashes were about half of their original length.

As I pulled out my hair clippers and gave myself a crew cut, I couldn't help but be amused at how stupid I was. My wife, fully recovered from the initial shock of seeing her husband consumed by a fireball, was also amused. "See hon," I said grinning, "I told you this was gonna be fun, I just didn't know it would turn out precisely this way."

So next time you hear someone say "This is gonna be fun," make sure to break out the video camera, and have your cell phone handy. In the best of circumstances it'll make for a hysterical video. In the worst, you'll have a Darwin Award candidate.