Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Las Vegas Wild Life

Virtually every kid has a certain animal that they love... I'm a dog person. A friend of mine is a cat person. Certain odd individuals like cows. Others collect pig figurines. The younger girl likes dolphins. It so happens that the Mirage in Las Vegas holds Sigfried and Roy's Secret Garden and Dolphin Habitat. Since the young 'un had never seen a real dolphin up-close and personal, we made the trip. To make things a little more exciting, they have recently announced the arrival of a new baby dolphin, named Sgt. Pepper. The mom, Duchess, has the same name as one of our dogs.

In addition to the dolphins, which held the little 'un's attention for less time than I had expected, they had lions, tigers, leopards, a black panther, and some other animals that I didn't recognize. Since this was a Siegfried and Roy attraction, I couldn't help but wonder if the animal (what was it, a white tiger?) that big Siegfried (or was it Roy?) was in the cage, or if they'd made albino tiger burgers out of him (or was it a her?). And though Siegfried (or was it Roy) publicly claims to have no hard feelings toward the beast ("... it was only trying to rescue me..."), I can't help but secretly wonder if the famous animal tamer mysteriously acquired a new fur coat.

As I moved on to the other animals, I couldn't help but make a few other smart-ass observations... For example, the black panther kept cleaning itself... you know... ummm... down there... to which I (predictably) announced "Well, if I could do it, I'd be doing the same thing." The men invariably grinned, chuckled or nodded in agreement. The women invariably shook their heads in mock disgust, and the kids gave the embarrassed "Da-ad!!"

This is the feared Topiary Beast, made famous in various Stephen King novels. It took me a bit to recognize it, but once I realized what it was, I made a hasty exit, lest something Stephen King-ish happen to me in front of the children. In retrospect, I wonder why they didn't have it caged. Maybe it ate the groundskeeper.

Since when is a swan a ferocious beast?!?

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