An Open Apology to J.S.

John,

We were never particularly close; in fact, I always thought you were kind of a tool.  You were the stereotypical jock, swaggering down the halls of the school as if you owned the joint; that in and of itself gave me a strong distaste for you.  But the biggest reason I hated you was your classroom demeanor.  You consistently derided the thoughts and ideas of other students without ever putting yourself out there and letting people know your own notions.  It played well into that athletic bravado personality you wore, but to me it was like nails on a chalkboard.  The day we almost got into a fist fight after class because I had the audacity to call you on your bad behavior is still seared into my mind.  (I know this is a bizarre way to begin a letter of apology folks, but please roll with me for a moment.)

Shortly after I moved home after my enlistment in the Marine Corps ended, you made the news... more accurately, the death of your son made the news.  Junior's body was found in the creek, within a couple of blocks of where I was living at the time.  You were under the umbrella of suspicion - if not by the cops, then by the people of our home town.

Fast forward two decades, when I read that there had been an arrest in your son's murder.  I don't remember the guy's name, but that's not important.  What's important is that it wasn't you.  For twenty years, I believed that you were not only capable of taking your own boy's life, but that you actually did it.  I convicted you, not based on evidence, but on your boorish behavior as a high school boy.  I was part of the mob that wanted to burn you before the evidence was in.

I've been thinking about your innocence since hearing the news, and realizing how your life has literally been a made-for-TV movie.  I look at my own daughter, who is roughly the same age your son would be, and I can't imagine the hell you've experienced.  You lost your baby.  Your community (wrongly) convicted you.  You left town and started over, ostensibly building a life for yourself thousands of miles away from where the horror occurred.  I suspect that you found a measure of happiness, but your son was never far from your heart.  And then, years after you had resigned yourself to the fact that your baby's killer would never be found, it happened... an arrest, based on DNA evidence.  And now, I suspect the wound has been reopened.  This kind of thing shouldn't happen to anybody.

John, for what it's worth, I am sorry for being part of the masses who wrongly convicted you.  I apologize for callously believing that you took your boy's life.  I regret that I couldn't look beyond my own petty animosity.  Despite our differences in the past, you deserve better.  You deserve better from me, and you deserve better from your former community.