More Ups, More Downs

For once in I don't know how long, it looks as if I failed to give my ex enough credit. A couple of nights ago, I talked to the ex about the kids' living arrangements. I approached things by pointing out that sexy wife and I could offer better conditions than the kids would get with the ex, and made what I considered a very reasonable recommendation. Normally she gets the kids on Tuesdays, Thursdays and every other weekend. The Mrs. and I have them Mondays, Wednesdays and every other weekend. I suggested that the kids visit the ex on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but spend those nights here. I added that they should come back on Sunday evenings too. In other words, school nights should be spent here.

I've brought this up in the past, and the ex went ballistic, so I was expecting the riot act and quite frankly I was planning to go to court. It was actually my attorney who asked me if I'd talked to the ex before filing any court paperwork. I was stunned when the ex agreed, lock, stock and barrel.

*****

More truck problems. On my way home last night, I noticed that the transmission was slipping. As I returned to the truck from a stop at the corner store, I saw why... a puddle of transmission fluid was accumulating around my front passenger tire, and the puddle was rapidly expanding. Fortunately I was able to make it home, and based on the location of the puddle, I think a line blew, so it should be quick, easy and relatively inexpensive to fix. (I'll know more on that today.)

*****

Check out my new toy. It's an XV6700 smart phone. It's not the latest and greatest, but it's the first time in a couple of years that I've had a smart phone, and I've got to say I've missed it. My last phone ran the Palm OS, and I've got to say that I like the Windows interface a little better. Some of my favorite features...

-This synchronizes with my work email, so I'm more on top of things.

-I can VPN to work from home, so I can use my phone to reset passwords, reboot servers and so forth.


-The internet is surprisingly fast using EVDO technology.

-I can listen to music, watch movies, and so forth.

-It's got wi-fi too, which allows me to sign on to the internet anywhere there's wireless broadband access. Great for working out in the plant.

-Voice-activated commands allow me to launch programs and call people with simple voice commands.

-Graffiti feature allows me to actually write with my stylus, instead of using the small keyboard.

I missed my smart phone!

One Savvy Kid

When the ex told the kids about being evicted, they naturally wanted to know where they'd be staying. She told the kids that they'd be staying with her best friend. Before I get into the story though, I need to digress for a minute about the living arrangements. The ex's best friend is married to my best friend. I still get along with both of them, but my friend is fiercely loyal to me and despises my ex.

The ex and the kids are moving into the basement of the house, which is a small place, built in the 1930's. The living area in the basement is approximately the size of a standard bedroom, and my ex expects that all three of them to stay in that small space. To complicate matters a bit, the basement was an overflow storage area. This meant that my ex expected the kids to spend the weekend turning the space back into a livable area.

My younger daughter was all about spending time with mom, even if it meant spending the whole weekend cleaning the basement. My older daughter is starting to realize how messed up her mom is and wanted nothing to do with this arrangement. The older daughter spent Friday night at the neighbor girl's house. She spent Saturday evening there too, but came home (to our house) "feeling sick." She stayed at our place until around noon on Sunday and was scheduled to spend the night there Sunday. Around midday, I got a call from the ex, asking me to take the kids Sunday night. We agreed for me to get them around 8:00.

An hour or so later, the older kid called me and asked me if I could pick her up at 6:30 because she had "a lot of homework." I picked them up and we immediately started the homework. It was one simple math problem and she didn't need my help. She's no idiot. That was her excuse to come back to our house.

My Stupid Dog

My stupid dog spent the majority of yesterday in her kennel, eating her blanket. Yes, you heard me right, she was eating her blanket -- as in chewing and swallowing. Towards the middle of last night, I heard her making the barf sound from her kennel, but when I looked, I couldn't find anything. A little later I heard it again. This time I found a chunk of chewed up, barfed up blanket. She slept by my bed last night, and every so often I was awakened to her not-so-cute barfing sound. Throughout the night I carried three more chunks of blanket to the garbage, and have tossed yet another three that were barfed up this morning. I tossed out the rest of the blanket this morning... what remains is about the size of a shawl, and it started out big enough for a twin bed. What a stupid fucking dog. She ate her blanket! I can't imagine how she fit that much in her stomach, and I can't fathom why she ate it.

Life Is Beautiful

Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
That no one will cry at my funeral?

This is an excerpt from the song "Life is Beautiful" by Sixx A.M. The band was formed to accompany Nikki Sixx's book The Heroin Diaries. When I first heard about this, I thought "Great, another rock star's autobiography about rising to fame, crash of self-destruction and return from the ashes." But I love this song. It's really cool. If you haven't checked it out, do so. I've got to say, if these guys tour, I'm there.

Ups and Downs

First and foremost... it was 4 years ago today that I met my wonderful wife at a wine tasting party. Little did I know how much happiness I'd get from a simple glass of wine and a little conversation.

*****

It's been a hectic week here at the castle. It all started on Monday evening when I received after-hours support calls on my job. There were a lot of sporadic problems on the network and I spent about three hours working on it... or more appropriately... band-aiding it.

By the time I got to work Thursday morning, the sh!+ had hit the fan and the entire network was essentially inoperable. Production was virtually at a standstill. As my cohort and I spent the first two hours trying to wrap our brains around the problems, supervisors were stressing, workers were slacking and managers were nagging us for status reports -- all the while failing to realize that every minute we spent giving status reports was a minute taken away from finding the solution. Then, after the impromptu status report, we lost another five minutes as we got back to concentrating on the task at hand -- fixing the network.

We ended up calling in a consultant, and we were glad that we did. I know that we would have eventually fixed the problem, but I suspect it would have taken us about four to six hours longer than we needed with the consultant's help. The guy knew his shit!

There were three separate, unrelated problems. The first problem is that our core network switch was malfunctioning. The second was that an electrician tried to troubleshoot a computer issue and ended up plugging both ends of the same ethernet cable into the same switch. This caused a network communication loop, which severely degraded network performance. The third problem was another network switch, located in the plant. The uplink port went bad, causing a broadcast storm... slightly similar to the communication loop.

The only human error was on the part of the electrician, but I'm not going to make a big deal out of it. I know the electricians, and they try to do a good job. I don't want to get into a game of finger-pointing and causing bad blood. So I'm going to send out a few under-the-table comments to the electricians, letting them know what happened without making a big issue of it. No supervisor involvement and no blame-storming.

*****

The heater went out in my truck... during the worst cold snap that I can remember. It's roughly zero degree Fahrenheit, and since I had no heater, I had to drive with the windows down in order to prevent the inside of my windows from frosting up due to my breath. That was some cold sh!+. The worst part is that I had to put up with it for a couple of days because I was too busy at work to schedule the repair. The cool part is that it was only $100 to fix it.

**Note to internet researchers***

The heater stopped working on my 2002 Dodge Dakota. I turned the fan switch to all four positions and no air blew from the vents. I originally thought that my blower motor had burned out, but it turned out to be the fan switch. Not the switch on the console, but the actual resistor located next to the blower motor. The quote for the motor was $400+, including labor, but I took the truck to a mechanic that I trust -- my local Dodge dealer. They got me in and out the same day, and promptly and accurately fixed the problem, costing me significantly less than I had feared.

**End note to internet researchers**

*****

I already mentioned that my ex got evicted. I'm really not surprised by this. The big downside is that I was the one who handled the fallout with the kids. The ex called and asked me to keep the kids last night (her scheduled evening), but neglected to tell the kids. I got home, and the kids asked if it was time to go their mom's.

"Nope, you're staying here tonight."

"But why." I wasn't prepared for this. I had figured that she'd already told them. I was speechless for a minute.

"Why dad," they continued? I thought about my options. I could tell them everything. I could make them call their mom, who would sugar-coat everything. I remained silent as I continued formulating my answer.

"Dad, if we can't stay with mom, we at least deserve to know why."

"Okay," I finally answered, "your mom got evicted from her apartment."

The were understandably upset. "Where will we live? Why does she keep screwing up?" I really couldn't say anything, because I'm not a non-interested third party. All I could do was offer them some hugs and tell them they would be safe and could stay with me. This, of course, didn't fix things. They were (understandably) focused on how this would impact their life with mom. My wife and I were frustrated. Once again the ex screws up, throwing the kids' lives into chaos, and we were the ones left to handle the fallout. My game is the long-haul. I know that one day the kids will realize that it's really my wife and me who are there for the kids... who sacrifice for them. But in the short term, my game can certainly be frustrating.

*****

The wife's Grandma passed away this weekend. She had Alzheimer's and cancer, so this wasn't unexpected. But it still sucks to lose a loved one. My father in law is an only child and lost his dad about a year ago, so this is pretty rough on him, which impacts her. I feel for them.

*****

Last night, I got my older daughter's midterm grades. She's getting a D in science and phys ed. (How do you get a D in phys ed!?!) She got a D in science last semester and sexy wife and I told her to bring up her grades or start losing privileges. Last night she lost her cell phone.

She Can't Even Live in her Car

When it comes to my ex, I'm constantly reminded how glad I am that I got out when I did. My most recent moment came yesterday, when she informed me that she got evicted from her apartment and asked me to watch the kids.

The thing is, she can't even live in her car, because that was repossessed when she was arrested a couple of months ago. Since she was driving without a license (etc, etc), her car was impounded. The state eventually seized the car and auctioned it off, because she didn't pay the fines and reclaim it within the allotted time.

Someone close to me compared my ex to Britney Spears, but I don't like that analogy, because that would make me Kevin Federline.

I Made My Mommy Cry

My mom had been yammering on about it for months and months now... about how 2008 is a very important year for her...

"Do you realize that your father and I will have been married for 40 years?"

"I'm turning 60 next year."

And then came the guilt-laden "You know, nobody has ever done anything really good for us in our entire lives."

I got the hint and talked to my brothers.

Yesterday was their anniversary, so I called them up bright and early. When my mom answered the phone, I started off by saying "You know I was thinking this morning about how really old you and dad are.

"Oh shut up, you poop bottom." (My mom's a little lacking when it comes to witty retorts.)

"But mom, you really are old! Come on... think about it... You've been married 40 years today." There's a little silence as it sinks in that I remembered their anniversary.

"You little stinker, I thought you'd forgotten."

"Is dad awake?"

"Not yet. Should I wake him up?"

"No. Let him sleep. After all, it's his anniversary too, and I know he likes to sleep in. Are you sitting down?"

"No, I was getting something to drink. Why, should I be?"

"Probably."

(After a short pause) "Okay, I'm sitting down."

"Well, your other boys and I were talking, and we decided that we'd like to do something special for your anniversary." (Another pause... I'm letting the suspense build a bit, and mom's afraid to ask what it is.) "We'd like to send you on an Alaska cruise."

I thought the phone was dead, until I heard the sniffle. "Are you kidding me?"

"No. I'm serious."

"You're not joking?"

"No mom, I'm not joking."

"Oh, son!" (Okay, she used my full first name.) [Sniffle] "This isn't a joke? Because if this is a joke, then it's the most cruel joke you've ever played." After a few more minutes of this, she finally understood.

I think the moment it sunk in was when I said "You know mom, we were thinking about making you wait until your 50th anniversary to do this, but we decided there's too much of a chance that one of you won't make it that long."

We chatted a bit more, but she was kind of blubbering, so I don't know exactly what she said. "Do you want me to have your dad call you when he wakes up?"

"Yeah, why don't you."

"Can I tell him, or do you want to?"

"You can tell him."

"You know he's not going to believe it, right?"

A couple of hours later, I get the call from Dad. "Thanks, boy. What are the particulars?"

"Just decide when you want to go, and we take care of the rest. The longer the lead time, the better." This was hours later, and I could still hear my mom blubbering in the background. I passed the phone around to the wife and kids, so they could extend the Happy Anniversary wishes too. Sexy wife told my mom that this was all my idea. "You know, your son arranged the whole thing."

"That's not true," I quickly rebutted. "We all discussed this, and we all came up with this together. I'm not going to take credit for this." Truth is, she was kind of right, but I didn't want my mom to know this. I want my mom and dad to consider this a gift from all of their boys as equals.

I thought about taking the family up to deliver the news, but with mom's busted ankle and the crappy weather, I figured a phone call would do. I was right.