My mom had been yammering on about it for months and months now... about how 2008 is a very important year for her...
"Do you realize that your father and I will have been married for 40 years?"
"I'm turning 60 next year."
And then came the guilt-laden "You know, nobody has ever done anything really good for us in our entire lives."
I got the hint and talked to my brothers.
Yesterday was their anniversary, so I called them up bright and early. When my mom answered the phone, I started off by saying "You know I was thinking this morning about how really old you and dad are.
"Oh shut up, you poop bottom." (My mom's a little lacking when it comes to witty retorts.)
"But mom, you really are old! Come on... think about it... You've been married 40 years today." There's a little silence as it sinks in that I remembered their anniversary.
"You little stinker, I thought you'd forgotten."
"Is dad awake?"
"Not yet. Should I wake him up?"
"No. Let him sleep. After all, it's his anniversary too, and I know he likes to sleep in. Are you sitting down?"
"No, I was getting something to drink. Why, should I be?"
"Probably."
(After a short pause) "Okay, I'm sitting down."
"Well, your other boys and I were talking, and we decided that we'd like to do something special for your anniversary." (Another pause... I'm letting the suspense build a bit, and mom's afraid to ask what it is.) "We'd like to send you on an Alaska cruise."
I thought the phone was dead, until I heard the sniffle. "Are you kidding me?"
"No. I'm serious."
"You're not joking?"
"No mom, I'm not joking."
"Oh, son!" (Okay, she used my full first name.) [Sniffle] "This isn't a joke? Because if this is a joke, then it's the most cruel joke you've ever played." After a few more minutes of this, she finally understood.
I think the moment it sunk in was when I said "You know mom, we were thinking about making you wait until your 50th anniversary to do this, but we decided there's too much of a chance that one of you won't make it that long."
We chatted a bit more, but she was kind of blubbering, so I don't know exactly what she said. "Do you want me to have your dad call you when he wakes up?"
"Yeah, why don't you."
"Can I tell him, or do you want to?"
"You can tell him."
"You know he's not going to believe it, right?"
A couple of hours later, I get the call from Dad. "Thanks, boy. What are the particulars?"
"Just decide when you want to go, and we take care of the rest. The longer the lead time, the better." This was hours later, and I could still hear my mom blubbering in the background. I passed the phone around to the wife and kids, so they could extend the Happy Anniversary wishes too. Sexy wife told my mom that this was all my idea. "You know, your son arranged the whole thing."
"That's not true," I quickly rebutted. "We all discussed this, and we all came up with this together. I'm not going to take credit for this." Truth is, she was kind of right, but I didn't want my mom to know this. I want my mom and dad to consider this a gift from all of their boys as equals.
I thought about taking the family up to deliver the news, but with mom's busted ankle and the crappy weather, I figured a phone call would do. I was right.
"Do you realize that your father and I will have been married for 40 years?"
"I'm turning 60 next year."
And then came the guilt-laden "You know, nobody has ever done anything really good for us in our entire lives."
I got the hint and talked to my brothers.
Yesterday was their anniversary, so I called them up bright and early. When my mom answered the phone, I started off by saying "You know I was thinking this morning about how really old you and dad are.
"Oh shut up, you poop bottom." (My mom's a little lacking when it comes to witty retorts.)
"But mom, you really are old! Come on... think about it... You've been married 40 years today." There's a little silence as it sinks in that I remembered their anniversary.
"You little stinker, I thought you'd forgotten."
"Is dad awake?"
"Not yet. Should I wake him up?"
"No. Let him sleep. After all, it's his anniversary too, and I know he likes to sleep in. Are you sitting down?"
"No, I was getting something to drink. Why, should I be?"
"Probably."
(After a short pause) "Okay, I'm sitting down."
"Well, your other boys and I were talking, and we decided that we'd like to do something special for your anniversary." (Another pause... I'm letting the suspense build a bit, and mom's afraid to ask what it is.) "We'd like to send you on an Alaska cruise."
I thought the phone was dead, until I heard the sniffle. "Are you kidding me?"
"No. I'm serious."
"You're not joking?"
"No mom, I'm not joking."
"Oh, son!" (Okay, she used my full first name.) [Sniffle] "This isn't a joke? Because if this is a joke, then it's the most cruel joke you've ever played." After a few more minutes of this, she finally understood.
I think the moment it sunk in was when I said "You know mom, we were thinking about making you wait until your 50th anniversary to do this, but we decided there's too much of a chance that one of you won't make it that long."
We chatted a bit more, but she was kind of blubbering, so I don't know exactly what she said. "Do you want me to have your dad call you when he wakes up?"
"Yeah, why don't you."
"Can I tell him, or do you want to?"
"You can tell him."
"You know he's not going to believe it, right?"
A couple of hours later, I get the call from Dad. "Thanks, boy. What are the particulars?"
"Just decide when you want to go, and we take care of the rest. The longer the lead time, the better." This was hours later, and I could still hear my mom blubbering in the background. I passed the phone around to the wife and kids, so they could extend the Happy Anniversary wishes too. Sexy wife told my mom that this was all my idea. "You know, your son arranged the whole thing."
"That's not true," I quickly rebutted. "We all discussed this, and we all came up with this together. I'm not going to take credit for this." Truth is, she was kind of right, but I didn't want my mom to know this. I want my mom and dad to consider this a gift from all of their boys as equals.
I thought about taking the family up to deliver the news, but with mom's busted ankle and the crappy weather, I figured a phone call would do. I was right.
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