Sometimes I get a little obsessive-compulsive about work. Not in a big way, but it happens. This morning I took a couple of minutes and logged in remotely to work, so I could check in on my backup project. (It's working as expected, in case you're interested.) While I was there, I thought "What the hell, I'll check my email too." Waiting in my inbox was an email from Clueless CompuCom Girl's boss.
The following is an artistic interpretation of the email, and my reaction to it:
Hi, I'm Clueless CompuCom Girl's boss. She forwarded your email to me. Dude, let me suck up to you for a second, and say there's no excuse for what she did.
Damn right. How hard is it to make a phone call.
To suck up a little bit more, I thought I'd tell you that we've been trying to get a full-time idiot for your company, cuz you're such a big important client.
That's completely irrelevent to this issue.
Just in case my feeble attempts at kissing your ass haven't worked yet, I'm going to up the stakes. How about if I have a Symantec guy come in to your office and personally try to sell you every single product that Symantec makes? Oh by the way, did I mention that the Symantec sales guy will probably refer you to CompuCom for the actual purchases? Think about it... I'm presenting you with a golden opportunity to spend even more money with a No-Value-Added Reseller that just pissed you off.
Okay, there's a little piece of this last bit of sucking up that's almost starting to get back on the right track, but for the most part you're still waaaaayyy off base. Offering to have a Symantec sales rep come in and personally discuss how Symantec could help make my life easier might be cool, but there are a couple of problems with that... You didn't say anything about taking me out for a big, expensive three martini lunch, and you didn't promise me a t-shirt. Besides, I've already arranged that with the Symantec sales rep directly. As far as the rest goes, too little too late.
If you give us the quote from that competitor you're gonna buy from, I'll bet we can be competetive with that price.
Mr. Clueless CompuCom Girl's Boss, you just blew it and proved you're as stupid as she is. Dude, I sent that email because I was pissed with your complete and utter lack of service, not because of your prices. In fact, you already had the lowest price. Get this through your head... It's not about the money! Besides, you didn't say anything about lowering your price further... you just promised to be "competetive." So not only did Clueless CompuCom Girl not do anything to get me technical assistance, you are now offering to blow smoke up my ass -- but not really lower your prices any further -- in order to win my business back. Thanks, but no thanks.
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