Languishing and Catharsis

I usually don't take lunch, but I did today. A friend and I met for our noon-time meal at Buffalo Wild Wings. Joe and I have been friends for almost ten years now. We started out as co-workers with vastly different backgrounds and views on life, but time and common interests brought us together as friends. He's one of the few people from my old job with whom I still make an effort to keep in contact.

When I was going through my divorce, Joe was one of the people who always had time to listen patiently as I cried in my beer, time to lend support, and time to offer a prayer. Toward the tail end of my divorce, he had domestic problems of his own. It's a long, complicated story... the short version is that his wife has emotionally abandoned him. They're still living in the same house, but they're more like roommates than husband and wife. This has been the case for three or four years.

Joe's a good guy. He doesn't deserve to be treated this way. He warrants a wife who treats him with love and respect.. But he still loves her, and takes his marriage vows seriously. I believe that if she asked for a divorce, he'd give it to her, but I don't see him asking for the divorce because of the promise he made to her -- and to God.

As I listened to him today, I couldn't help but think of my own situation. Here's Joe, languishing in a loveless marriage. I, on the other hand, chose to end things and move on. I found my catharsis and continued forward with my life. Joe is leaving it in God's hands, and God is taking his sweet time... a stark contrast from my belief that God would forgive me if I made the wrong decision, which allowed me to handle things on my own.

In the end, I know that I'm happier for my decision. If I had taken the same path as Joe, I wouldn't have met Mrs. Right, who brings me far more happiness and fulfillment than what's-her-name. Joe and I made significantly different choices when presented with similar circumstances, and our choices both related to what God would think. Joe's philosophy is to "walk the talk" of unconditional love and forgiveness. My attitude was to realize that God understood my predicament, and to act on my own.