Disciplining and punishing my kids is my least favorite part of being their dad. I understand that discipline is part of parenting, and I don't shirk this responsibility, but watching my kids suffer is bad enough. Creating that discomfort makes things even worse.
Today, my older daughter was grounded because of her grades. When she entered high school, I told her that I expected all of her grades to be a "C" or better. The session that ended today marks at least the third consecutive term where she's brought home at least one "D."
During this time, I've tried all kinds of shit to encourage better grades. I bribed her by offering a cash incentive for good grades, I took away her cell phone, iPod and computer privileges. I've tried yelling, nagging, offering positive support, and letting her do things her own way. I told her the next thing to go was her social life.
Today, as a result of yet another "D," she's now grounded. She's grounded for the entire next term (but there is a way out). She is required to study for a minimum of two hours, and during the study time there will be no phone privileges. The only exception to this being grounded will be if she wants to attend her church's youth group... and even then, she can only go to youth group if her studying is done.
The early out I mentioned earlier is as follows... if she has all C's or better, she will be conditionally ungrounded after a month. The condition is that she maintains the minimum grade. If any grade falls below a C, she is immediately re-grounded.
Like I said, I really hate meting out punishment, but I hope this gets her to understand how serious I am about the grades. Because if it doesn't, she won't remember what her friends look like by the time she's ungrounded.
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3 comments:
Have you considered sitting down with her while she's doing homework?
I have done that with my kids in the past and it seems to get them back on track.
8)
True Dat- I never had that problem with my kids- I home-schooled them, but Ray-ray's idea sounds good.
And i know exactly what you mean about hating that part of parenting....the tough love is the hardest part....but in the end it's the part that matters most- next to letting them know that you love them no matter what.
I've done that. It helps short-term, but it's her long-term approach to homework that needs to be changed. Hell, for one of her biology chapters, I worked with her for about five hours over three days. She got a B on the chapter. After that though, she showed no more interest. I consistently asked her if her homework was done, and she'd say yes. At the end of the semester, I saw that her definition of "done" and mine differed significantly.
I'm willing to help her out, but in the end, it's her responsibility to make the grade. my nagging, cajoling, begging and helping can only do so much.
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