Lazy Bastard Kids

The family had a snow day today. Mrs. Evan and I got up to make sure the kids didn't have school, and to decide whether or not we'd go to work. When we found out it was a snow day, we let the kids sleep in.

I went out to see if the roads were passable for us. They were passable, but hazardous enough that staying home was the wiser option. When the kids finally got up, we made them a big breakfast and Mrs. Evan declared the roads clean enough for her to go in to work.

I stayed home and kept the kids entertained, shoveled the driveway and sidewalk, did dishes and other chores. After a couple of hours of playing Rock Band 2, I realized that breakfast wasn't agreeing with me. It ended up coming out of both ends simultaneously. (Thank God I had a trash can in the bathroom!)

Feeling wrung out, a nap was in order. I slept for about 30 minutes while one kid continued playing Rock Band 2 and the other read. I woke up with a still-sore throat, and saw that Mr. Snowplow had been by and filled the end of my driveway with street snow. I asked the kids to shovel that snow.

"I'm too busy reading, daddy," replied the younger Evlet.

"My legs are too sore from playing Rock Band, daddy. Will you give me a massage," asked the other?

It's a good thing I'm not sick with something like pneumonia. I can picture it now...

(Wheezing on my deathbed) "Kids, will you get me a drink of water?"

"Not now dad, I'm too busy reading," the younger one would answer.

"My lungs are too sore from breathing, daddy. Will you run a vaporizer for me," the older one would ask?