When I first read Paul's Homeward Bound post, my initial thought, oddly enough, was "I'm going to miss them." Kind of an interesting notion, considering that we've never met in real life. It was a fleeting thought, and I really was amused at myself... after all, I can keep up via their blogs, Xbox Live, or whatever. Either way, chalk it up to the internet age... I certainly never would have thought that I'd miss people that I've never met, but I must concede that I feel like I know them. Now, let me speak directly to Paul and Sunny...
I know that my words have no bearing on your decision -- certainly in part because the choice has already been made, but for what it's worth, I support it. It's been relatively apparent to me from the beginning that you two have struggled just to get by. I believe that you two have diligently worked to get ahead, but haven't been able to make any headway. It's been said many times that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, yet expecting a different outcome. By taking this step, you're stopping the insanity.
Regarding your comment about failing... I'm not so sure that you can call your time over here a failure. You stepped in to a new culture... you learned to shoot a gun... you ate squirrel... you learned the meaning of living hand to mouth... you gave up everything for love, and now you see that she's willing to do the same... But if you insist in saying that you failed, then remember this -- it's possible to do everything right and still fail. (Ugh... I'm starting to sound like Chicken Soup for the Soul).
I can relate to starting over. I spent the first six years of my adult life in the Marine Corps. During that six years, I moved three times, and each time I effectively had to pack my life into a sea bag. (That's a duffel bag for you non-Marine types out there.) Being young, it was an adventure... a chance to explore strange, new worlds... to seek out new life, and new civilizations... to boldly go where no man has gone before. Oh wait, sorry, someone else has already said that. And to make matters worse, I kind of strayed from my point. What was I saying? Oh, yeah... I was being pulled from the familiar in to the unknown, taking only what I could carry, and my identity. I enjoyed it then, but now that I'm a middle-aged man with a home and a family, I wouldn't want to do it today.
Sunny, this has got to be one of the scariest things you've done in your life. My last thought certainly didn't ease your anxiety. Try to keep your perspective. It's an adventure! You're going to go somewhere that many people only dream about. You're going to seek out new life, and new civilizations... oh damn, there I go again. What was I saying? Oh, yeah... keep your perspective. Think of the crappy things that have happened to you over the last decade (or quarter century, or your lifetime, or whatever) and remember that you're leaving it all behind. Oh crap, here comes the Chicken Soup again.
I've got a feeling that you'll be fine. In fact, I think you'll wonder why you didn't do this years ago.
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4 comments:
Thanks for the support, Dude.
Yeah- I'm looking at it as just another of my life's little adventures.....or in this case a BIG adventure.
Honestly, the only thing I'm nervous about is the farewells just before we leave.
I'm not good with Good-byes. At All.
I'll be blogging about my thoughts on it later- but can't for now due to a situation at work.
Bleh........But again....thank you for the support.
:-)
Thanks Ozzy, it means a lot.
Maybe 'failure' was the wrong word. Knowing what I do now, I don't regret moving here one bit... and if I had my time over, I'd do exactly the same thing again. The good, at the very least, balanced out the bad.
The feeling of failure just comes from not being able to make it work...but in that sense, I think bad luck and timing had more to do with it than anything.
When I first visited Sunny over here, she was in a great job and the area was booming. Today, I'm living in one of the highest areas of unemployment in the country...and to be completely honest, I really can't blame businesses here for wanting to hire Americans before foreigners.
As for actually moving back...for everything I'm going to miss there's something to look forward to...and I'm constantly swinging between the 'last day of school' and 'last day of summer vacation'.
Oh, and speaking of Xbox Live, my Xbox won't work in England so I'll be selling it. I'm also selling all my games at ten bucks a pop (more than I'll get from a gamestop)
If you're interested, let me know and I'll send you a list of what I have.
Sunny: Goodbye doesn't mean what it used to. When we were kids, it meant that you'd never see them again. The world is a smaller place than it was back then, so you can't assume that you'll never see (insert name here) again. Furthermore, you two have spent a lot of time living hand to mouth, so it should be relatively easy to continue doing so, which will allow you to set aside a little money every now and then, and make return visits to the states. (Yeah, I know that's an expensive, long-term goal.)
Paul: I'll go back to my Marine Corps analogy to relate to your mindset...
Returning to civilian life was full of excitement and dread for me. No job. No safety net. I didn't know what I was going to do. Add to that the fact that my older daughter was born on the day I received my discharge papers... I don't know exactly what you're thinking, but I believe that I can relate to the overall feeling.
And yes, send me a list of games. I may buy a couple.
Do you have a target date of departure in mind?
We'll be leaving ASAP, but my passport has expired and Sunny's never had one, and those will take up to six weeks...then we have to apply for Sunny's Visa, which can take anywhere from a week to four months.
In other words we could be leaving at the end of June or it could be September/October.
I'll send you that list of games when we get closer to leaving...I wanna keep my xbox as long as possible considering I don't know when I'll be able to replace it.
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