Coming Home

It's not hard to reach back to the day the war finally came Home
-"Sullivan," by Caroline's Spine

Over the last three years or so, I've had the pleasure of establishing a working relationship, nay a friendship, with a delightful woman named Erica. Erica has always been one of the shiny, happy people, with a bright smile and a positive outlook. And she frequently spoke about her husband, a man she obviously adored... a soldier in the National Guard.

Roughly six months ago, Erica told me that her hubby was being deployed to Afghanistan. As a veteran, all of my experience with family separation was as the person being sent overseas, and even then, it was my parents, brothers and friends I was leaving behind, not a spouse. So it was kind of interesting to hear about the deployment from Erica's point of view, and I made a point to ask about her husband each time I saw Erica. I distinctly remember her calling me when her computer died, because that meant that she lost her ability to video conference with him while he was in Afghanistan.

On Monday, I found out that he was killed on this tour of duty. I cannot speak with any authority, but it sounds like he was killed by an Afghan native at a routine checkpoint. I've also heard that this was his last patrol before coming home, and if I remember correctly, he planned to retire after this deployment. Erica and her husband were planning to have kids after he retired, so yes, they literally put their lives on hold for the military.

While I can empathize with Erica, I will not be so bold as to say that I understand what she must be going through. My heart really aches for her. Erica is a genuinely cool person, and doesn't deserve this agony.

This event, as you might understand, has prompted me to take a step back and once again ask myself if it's all worth it. For almost a decade, my country has embroiled itself in two separate conflicts, under the banner of protecting and preserving our freedom, with a secondary goal of bringing freedom to the citizens of Iraq and Afghanistan. The question that keeps coming back to my mind is "Is this all worth it?"

In a word, I guess that my answer is 'no,' and now that I think about it, that's been my answer for a while. Now, since this is my freaking blog, I'm going to explain myself. And I suspect that once you read my rationale, you will find it difficult to refute my conclusions... but I'm MORE than willing to entertain any dissenting opinion.

Before I continue, I want to remind you that I'm not a liberal pantywaist who thinks that war is never the answer, and that all human life is sacrosanct. In fact, I firmly believe that if someone invades my home, or threatens my family with bodily harm, I should be able to reserve the right to preemptively kill that motherfucker so that my loved ones remain safe. My reasons for believing that we should bring our troops home are far more pragmatic.

I believe that the majority of the people in both countries we're occupying do not want democracy. What they want is security. The citizens of these countries knew what was necessary to get by under the old system. Shut your mouth, keep your head down, and play by the rules. Most of them were happy to oblige, as long as they were left alone. The thing is, we, the people of America, thought that we knew better. For better or worse, we are 100% convinced that everyone seeks our brand of freedom. What we fail to acknowledge is that not everyone thinks like we do. And the only way to change a society's fundamental thought process is by starting with the youth. This means that in order to successfully change the mindset of the citizens of these countries, we need to remain in these countries for a full generation, AND to win the hearts and minds of an overwhelming majority of the youth. I am not convinced that we can do this. I don't think that we can do it tactically, and I don't think that we can do it financially.

Speaking of tactics, there's another area of contention that I have with our occupation of Iraq and Afghanistan. Tactically speaking, history has proven that a two-front war is virtually unwinnable. (I've said this many times in previous posts.) Yet here we are, trying to win wars in two countries. Furthermore, Afghanistan in particular has proven itself virtually impossible to conquer as a country. I thought that we went there to kill bin Laden... he's dead, so why are we still there? Oh yeah, to install a democratic (translation: Pro-American) government.

And what the hell are we doing with our rules of engagement? Apparently our politicians have forgotten the lessons of Korea and Vietnam. Once again, so that our stupid leaders can understand... we can let our military leaders do their job, their way, and win a war, or we can hamstring them and eventually lose. There is no middle ground.

Then there's the financial piece. Why are we spending money that we don't have to "protect" a people who don't like us? Can't our politicians see that we're already broke and hurting? Can't they see that our money would be better spent at home?

Damn. My original intent was to express sympathy for a friend during her time of loss -- an expression that I'm pretty sure she'll never see, because I haven't told her about my blog. But here I am, getting on my soapbox. Let me get back to my original point...

Erica, my heart aches for you during what I expect will be one of the most painful periods in your life. I am sorry for your loss. I know there's nothing that I can say that will ease your agony for a single second, so I won't even try. But please know that you have my condolences.