Saturday, April 12, 2008

Another Chance

Every blog has a reason. Every blogger has a history. Believe it or not, my reason and my history are both relatively mundane. I started blogging several years ago, for no particular purpose. I don't know, maybe I was bored... it could be that I naively believed blogging would bring me fame and fortune... it's conceivable that I was lonely and saw blogging as a way to reach out. Whatever originally compelled me to blog, that reason is now long gone. Over the years, blogging has become a reason in itself.

I've long considered myself a pretty good writer, but I didn't write that much. I believe that I'm an opinionated person, but realize that most people don't care what I think. I found that I could use the Internet to voice my position, to create, to vent, and to share, but I still primarily wrote for myself.

I was excited about my newfound hobby, and I told friends, family and co-workers about my blog. When I was particularly proud of a post I wrote, I'd email those close to me and say "Hey, check this out. It's pretty funny (or witty, or scathing, or whatever)." In retrospect, I should have used a little more foresight and discretion. My wife, friends, neighbors and co-workers all began reading my words with alarming regularity. Over time, I found myself unable to write about certain aspects of my life.

Eventually, a cyberstalking former co-worker brought about my decision to move from my original blog to this one. This guy disliked me enough to stab me in the back repeatedly at work, and ultimately, I resigned from my job. Despite my departure, he still checks my blog daily, both from work and from his home. I don't know why he keeps watching my blog... maybe he's looking for his name to appear somewhere... maybe he wants to see if I'm suffering. I don't know. Either way though, I'm not going to give him that satisfaction, and he's the final straw that's motivating me to disentangle my real life from my blogging life; I'm still determining to what extent I will allow them to mingle in the future.

I'm also undecided on what to do with my old blog. Should I simply leave everything from my old blog behind and start here anew? Should I delete everything from my old blog? Should I move everything here (making sure to re-write aspects that would help my stalker in tracking me down)? Should I bring over a few of my favorite posts? I just don't know yet.

I've got over 600 posts, spanning three years at my old blog. Some of it is absolute crap. Some of it is really cool and I don't want to lose it. But I really don't want my cyberstalker finding me at my new home. Like joining the witness protection program, or moving to a new city, I've got mixed emotions about being here. Part of me is wistful about leaving my old life behind, but an equal piece is excited that I can start over. I can leave behind parts of me that I want to ditch, and I can create a whole new me. Either way though, I will be true to myself. I will remain anonymous, but I cannot deny who I am.

This blog is named in honor of this disentanglement and my new beginning.

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