Today, I'm a Man

My daughter got her period last night. As a dad, this is a day I've been dreading from the moment she was born. As soon as the doc said "Congratulations, it's a girl" I've been worried about her growing into a young woman, getting her period, going boy crazy and subsequently, me having to beat the insolent lads off with a large stick... or more accurately, threatening them into submission by casually showing them my impressive gun collection. (The only problem with the latter approach is that I'm missing one small detail -- the impressive gun collection.) After all, I was a young, horny, irreverent, trying-to-get-laid punk at one time, so I think I know as well as anyone what my daughter's prospective boyfriends have in mind when they ask her out on a date. They think that paying for dinner and a movie is teen-speak for "bartering for sex." The better the dinner and movie, the better the chances for sex.

The night started out pretty quietly. This, however, was only because the kids were outside playing. My better half got home from work, the young-uns came in from playing, and we had dinner. From there, things got really hectic before I could even blink. My younger daughter had some sort of drama that I couldn't fix. My older daughter egged her on, and my wonderful lady was the only one who could calm my younger daughter down.

While she was talking to my younger daughter, I chatted with the older one. We chatted about nothing in particular, because I wanted to neither encourage nor chastise her for egging her sister on when sissy decided to cop an attitude. Then, right in the middle of our conversation about nothing, she says "Hang on, dad, I've got to poop." I kind of chuckled, because my older girl usually says that she needs to potty, or use the restroom or something like that, and always gives me shit (pardon the pun) when I say that I've got to take a crap.

So I'm hanging around the house by myself... partially grateful for the moment of peace, partially concerned about how my younger daughter is doing when I hear my older daughter....

"Daaaaaadddddyyyyyyy...."

I figured she ran out of toilet paper. (The kids never think to make sure there's toilet paper before they sit down on the pot.)

"Yeah kid?"

"I need you to come here!"

"What's up?"

"I got my PERIOD!"

"Are you sure?!?" (I asked this because she said this about a year ago, and it was a false alarm.) I poked my head in the bathroom. She actually showed me the toilet paper with the blood on it. I was a little shocked, but I was also convinced that it wasn't a false alarm this time.

Meanwhile, my younger daughter and my girlfriend are still chatting. I open the door to my younger daughter's room and tentatively poke my head in the doorway.

"Ummmmm.... honey?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I borrow you for a minute?"

"Sure." She meets me in the hallway. "What's up?"

"Well, [older daughter got her period. I figure you're a little better equipped to deal with it than I am. Do you wanna take over?"

"Sure." She heads for a closet and says "I've been preparing for this for a while."

I head into my younger daughter's room. "You okay [little one]?"

"Yeah dad."

We hung out on her bed for a while, hugging, talking about nothing. Eventually, we got into a tickle fight. I overwhelmingly had the upper hand, because I'm not very ticklish.

Next thing I knew, it was time for bed -- not for the kids, but for the adults. I don't make the kids go to bed at any certain time during summer vacation. The kids though, didn't want any part of it. The little one wasn't done trying to tickle me, and the older one was a little jealous over the fact that her sister and I were having a tickle fight. Now, considering that the older one just got done telling me that she's having her period, I felt a little odd about treating her like my little girl. But fortunately, I got over it pretty quickly. We all spent the next five minutes or so screaming, and tickling each other until we were all out of breath from laughing.

In the end, my older daughter's first period was really a non-event. She's still my little girl, and she's still the same kid she was only a few hours earlier. Part of me realized that she's growing up waaaaaaay too fast for my taste. Part of me realized that there was nothing I could do about it and vowed to enjoy her childhood while it lasts.

I've also got to give my woman a lot of credit -- more credit than words can express. She made the night a lot smoother for all of us. She didn't blink when the young 'un needed her. She didn't bat an eyelash when the other one got her first period. She handled the whole thing without breaking a sweat. She's legally a stepmom-to-be (nine days from now, she'll officially be a stepmom), but she handled the whole scene more adeptly than I could have -- especially the period part. Last night, she once again proved that she's as much of a mother as the kids' biological mom.

Last night was a strange trip. My kid got her period, so it was the realization of a long-dreaded moment for me -- a long-dreaded moment that turned out to be a non-event. I realized that my kids are growing up, and they're growing up too fast. I reacted by living in the moment and enjoying their childhood. I was reminded how awesome the Mrs.-to-be is as a parent -- not a step-parent, but a parent. It was stressful, but at the end of the day, I had such a natural high that I couldn't get to sleep.