Sir, Yes Sir!

When I went to Boot Camp -- a little over a half of a lifetime ago -- one of the first things I heard was "When you speak, the first word out of your mouth will be SIR, and the last word out of your mouth will be SIR. Do you UNDERSTAND?!?"

"Sir, yes SIR!"

"I can't hear you!"

"Sir, yes SIR!"

Sure as hell, for the next three months, the first and last words out of my mouth were sir. There were a few exceptions... when I spoke to another recruit, I didn't have to say 'sir.' When I spoke to a female, it was ma'am instead of sir. I used gentlemen when referring to multiple men. I used ladies when speaking to multiple women... which didn't happen very often in boot camp.

Using gentlemen really threw the drill instructors for a loop.

[Saluting as I approached] "Gentlemen, good afternoon GENTLEMEN!!"

[Drill Instructor 1] "Recruit, what in the FUCK is GENTLEMEN?!?

[Me] "Sir, the word gentlemen is the plural of the word sir, SIR!"

[Drill Instructor 2] "Carry on, recruit."

[Me] "Sir, carry on, aye-aye, SIR!" And away I went, smirking on the inside. But I'm digressing.

I also learned in boot camp that all military officers are to be called 'sir' by all enlisted personnel. Between boot camp, and that knowledge, I grew to detest the word sir by the time I got out of the military. I was not brought up to automatically refer to my seniors as sir and ma'am. I was brought up that those words were signs of respect, and that respect was something to be earned, not something that automatically came with age, a commission in the military, or an education.

After I got out of the Corps though, a subtle change ensued. I discovered that once I was no longer required to use the word sir, it started flying out of my mouth, unbidden. It started with my bosses at my subsequent jobs. Then it rolled down to my co-workers. Eventually, I started calling waiters, checkers at the supermarket, gas station clerks -- everyone -- sir (or ma'am, if they were female).

It's not that I respected these individuals, per se. It's more like I didn't disrespect them, and since I didn't disrespect them, I could at least show them some semblance of respect. And I've noticed that this modicum of respect seems to go a long way. But I still hate being called sir. It makes me feel like my dad. But again, I'm digressing.

The point is, I used to hate saying sir because the word was designed to convey respect -- respect that I didn't necessarily feel, because the person I usually called sir didn't deserve the word. As time passed though, and I was no longer forced to use the word, a subtle change in my attitude occurred. It wasn't that sir was a sign of respect per se. It's more that using the word sir is showing a modest amount of respect -- just enough respect to convey that you don't disrespect the other person.

As my attitude shifted, and I began to use the word sir more often, I found that I received more respectful, polite and friendly treatment in return. When the Marine Corps forced me to show respect, I railed at the idea... probably because I had no choice in the matter. When I was no longer forced to show respect, it became second nature, and a whole world opened up for me. Once again, the Marine Corps gave me something that I can use for the rest of my life. It taught me respect. It taught me respect, despite the fact that I really didn't want to learn the lesson.