This is a recap of a conversation my older daughter and I had the other day. It's not totally accurate, but it's pretty damn close.
“So I was looking for your sewing kit the other day…”
“Yeah?”
“I wasn’t snooping through your room or anything, but I found something…”
“And?”
“It was a set of furry handcuffs.” When I saw where this was going, I couldn’t help but grin. I came dangerously close to laughing out loud on the spot, and was totally unable to suppress my grin. “Dad?”
“Yeah?”
“Why do you have a set of furry handcuffs in your drawer?”
“Are you sure you want to know,” I asked grinning a little wider?
“Yeah.”
“Sex,” I replied, curious how she would react.
“Really,” she queried?
“Yeah.”
“For real!?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s gross.” After a few seconds to let the new reality soak in, she continued, “Daddy?”
“Yeah?”
“Why do you really have those furry handcuffs?”
“Are you sure you want to know,” I asked grinning a little wider?
“Yeah.”
“Sex,” I said again.
“Really,” she asked again?
“Yeah.”
“For real??”
“Yeah.”
“That’s really gross,” she reiterated. “Daddy?”
"Yeah?"
"Is that really why you have furry handcuffs in your drawer? Are you sure it wasn't a gag gift or something?"
"Do you want it to be a gag gift?"
"Yeah."
"Okay."
"So they were a gag gift?" I just grinned at her. "Good, because that would be gross if you really used them for sex. I mean, after all, she's your wife!"
"So it wouldn't be gross if your stepmom and I weren't married?" I asked quizically? That one flustered her a bit more.
"I guess it would be gross anyway... Dad? Were they really a gag gift?"
"Do you really want to know?"
"No."
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