The Consequences of Growing Up

... an excerpt of a conversation I had with my older daughter yesterday...

"Dad, do you want to hear a funny story?"

"Funny-strange or funny-ha-ha?" That part didn't really matter much to me; I was just engaging her in the conversation.

"Funny-ha-ha."

"Okay, shoot."

"I've decided that [boyfriend] and I can't make out anymore." AWESOME, I thought.

"Okay. Where's the funny part?"

"We were making out in [boyfriend's] car after school, and this lady knocked on the window." I was mildly amused. "So [boyfriend] rolls down the window, and the lady says 'I suppose you know why I'm knocking on the window.' [Boyfriend] says 'Yeah.' The lady says 'If I catch you here again, I'm going to report you.' So I just decided that we can't make out anymore. We just keep getting trouble when we do." I had to admit... it was a funny story.

Look, I don't particularly want my little girls kissing boys... not until they're, I don't know, 40? But I'm realistic enough to understand that they're going to do it. With this in mind, I've had all of the talks with them... told them that I'd prefer that they abstain but realize they may not take my advice, and insist that if they do have sex that they practice safe sex. We've had the talk many times, and as a result, my kids come to me with these stories... the ones that make me cringe inside, yet pleased that they feel they can come to me with anything. Fast-forward to today, when my phone rings...

"Hello, Evan?"

"Yes."

"This is [the principal] at [the kid's high school]. I'm calling about an incident from yesterday that was reported to me. Apparently [boyfriend] and your daughter were caught making out by several parents. They were doing some heavy petting and several parents were upset enough to contact me about the incident."

"Did this happen during school hours, or on school property?" At this point, I learned a couple of things that my daughter neglected to mention in her funny story. You see, there's a church across the road from the high school. The church allows the school to use that parking lot for student parking, which helps ease a severe shortage of parking at the school. Additionally, there's an elementary school on the other side of this church parking lot. Yep, you guessed it... my daughter and her boyfriend were busted for making out on 'school property,' which is actually a church parking lot, in front of a bunch of elementary school students! Several irate parents complained to school administrators.

After hearing about this, I agreed that the principal was justified in stepping in, and for calling me. He said that [boyfriend's] parking privileges would be suspended "at least for a while," possibly for the rest of the year. He further stated that he and other administrators would discuss whether or not further action would be taken against my daughter.

My reply? I recommended that he gives her a warning this time, with the understanding that there would be concrete consequences if it happens again. I specifically recommended a brief period of detention or short in-school suspension, and said that if they went this route that I would fully support the school if she got busted again.

What a riot! My kid got busted for making out in a church/elementary school parking lot. If only they'd have been able to contain themselves long enough to drive a couple of blocks, none of this would have happened. Well, maybe it will cool their jets for a little while.