Thursday, January 8, 2009

An Experiment of Sorts

I feel like doing something a little different this morning, so I'm going to do a double experiment. I'm going to start by writing several short phrases. Part one of the experiment is to see what you, dear readers, do with the phrases. You can write them up in a comment, or you can use them as fodder for your own blog post. Heck, you can even ask me to expand on something. Part two of the experiment is to use phrases that I know will drive traffic to this blog, in an attempt to see how much traffic gets thrown here, and how quickly it happens. Here we go...

... I asked him if Enzyte really works. Next thing I knew, he whipped it out and said "Here, see for yourself"...

... I'm not one of those puritans who thinks pornography is bad. In fact, I'd love to see Alyssa Milano do an episode of Charmed where they all get naked and have forbidden sister sex...

... he said "Dude, I can't believe you voted for Obama. Bush is a much better candidate." That shows how much he knew about this election...

... it wasn't just a google bomb. He really was a miserable failure...

...it's not just racial hatred. It's a roundabout form of population control. Whether it's the gang-bangers, the Arabs, whoever, I say we quit stepping in and let them kill each other. We can step in after they're all dead...

... screw unemployment. I hear the Army is always hiring...

... okay, I may have lost some money, but look at how much the super-rich lost. Poor little rich kids...

... Metallica's new album is the greatest thing since...

... Microsoft's new game. The motto is "If you want to sing, you've got to have lips." Does that mean that only women can sing?...

... that wasn't exactly age-appropriate...

... somehow I ended up at whitehouse.com. Let me tell you, that site had NOTHING to do with the Federal Government...

... met Robert Pattinson... you know, the guy who played Edward in Twilight. We got to chat for about 30 minutes. He was really surprised by the sudden fame brought to him by this role. He seemed genuinely relieved that I didn't know immediately who he was...

... tell me THAT phrase isn't going to get a lot of hits from the teenie-bopper crowd...

... most sexy, voluptuous, wonderful woman I had ever met. The ad was true. Beats the hell out of match.com and their endless survey, only to hear that I didn't match with anyone...

... told me the funniest joke in the world. I guess it was just me. I thought the joke was lame, but lo and behold, Google said it was the funniest joke in the world, so it must be true...

... would have never thought that Jack Nicholson's Joker could be topped. Heath Ledger kicked his ass though. They say that drove him over the edge... he looked into the abyss of the Joker's mind and never quite came back...

... I can understand how people overdose. I see the attraction brought on by the instant gratification of drug use. I did a lot of drugs. Fortunately, I listened to the little voice in my head that told me to stop before it was too late. I know too many people who didn't listen...

... but who cares. Yeah, heaven may be eternal bliss, but no matter how you slice it, eternal salvation looks absolutely boring. Hell looks like a far greater adventure, and I get to have fun here and now while I seal my fate...

... you too can find out which keywords drive the most traffic to your web site...

... but you've got to act now. Operators are standing by...

2 comments:

Paulius said...

I asked him if Enzyte really works. Next thing I knew, he whipped it out and said "Here, see for yourself"...Then I said "Put that Enzyte packet away, George! It's embarrassing!"

Metallica's new album is the greatest thing since...stabbing yourself in the testicles with forks and then walking under the world's biggest electro-magnet.

...but you've got to act now. Operators are standing by...You gullible, retarded morons...Shit...is this thing still on?

Evan 08 said...

You read my mind on the Enzyte quip.